I find that my typical day as a mother is chock full of stuff that's just not that fun - cleaning up the same mess yet again or hearing the twins fighting in the next room yet again or getting the big kids to do their homework in the midst of whining and complaining or trying to figure out what in the world to make for dinner with the 10 minutes I have left before we have to run off to the next thing. But when I look for them, I find that my life is also chock full of really beautiful little moments. Sometimes I really have to search out the good stuff and find in wedged in somewhat precariously between a lot of stuff that's not so good - the sweet hug from Isaac while I'm frantically trying to get everyone in the car, the funny comment from one of the twins in the midst of a wild family dinner, the cute drawing from Eliza on my pillow as I head to bed after a long day. Sometimes the good stuff doesn't get fully appreciated or noticed in the midst of the hard things that keep getting thrown my way. But other times, like this morning, the good stuff comes out in abundance with no bad stuff mixed in and it's like a big shot in the arm to see me through the hard stuff that's bound to show up before long.
This morning I woke up to the sound of some quiet chinking of dishes in the kitchen, wondered what that might be briefly, saw that the red hills were all lit up beautifully, smiled and fell back asleep, curled up next to my wonderful husband who for once hadn't gotten up before me. I do love waking up next to him when it works out! Then a bit later, just as we both started waking up and realized it was past time to get up, the door to our room was flung open and there were three beaming kids holding a tray full of food for us. They'd decided to make us breakfast in bed - just because they love us. What beautiful, thoughtful kids we've got! They proudly presented us with a tray with two bowls of oatmeal (somewhat plain, dry and cold, but full of love), two pieces of toast laid out nicely with two knives and a fancy little bowl of jam and some butter as well as two glasses of milk - they thought of everything! Jared and I sat back and enjoyed some breakfast together (something we never get to do - it's usually just us getting food down the kids and maybe grabbing something for ourselves as we head out the door) while the big kids fed the twins and got ready for school. We've arrived! This is the life!
And now I'm sitting here typing in total peace after vacuuming and cleaning up the breakfast mess in total peace. The twins are at preschool and the big kids are in school and I was supposed to go visiting teaching but that fell through and I find I have this "gift" of a couple hours to get things done and be on my own and I'm savoring it and feeling so blessed.
Later on today, when the craze of homework and dinner is upon me, I'm going to remember this morning and find this happy peaceful place inside me that I'm experiencing right now and it's going to be a good day and stay a good day. I'm going to find and cherish the good little moments in the midst of the hard stuff more often and carve out time to really enjoy them and celebrate them. And I'm not going to let the hard stuff get to me so much. The hard stuff is usually just a little minute and in the grand scheme of things, it really doesn't matter much or stack up to being that important. But the good stuff - it may be short and sweet, it may be few and far between sometimes - but it matters. It matters big time.