Every year, I feel excited about a fresh start with a new year. Some years I've set a lot of goals and resolutions. Sometimes I've been pretty good about keeping my resolutions and really moving towards my goals. But for many years now, I've done a quite a bit of thinking about resolutions and things I'd like to change but haven't really set very concrete resolutions or followed through. I've tried the "one word" resolutions my sister Shawni does and while I really like the simplicity of that, I think I've chosen the wrong words and/or haven't pondered on and acted on that one word very much so it hasn't been very meaningful for me.
One year I chose "Peace" and it didn't turn out to be a very peaceful year - it was actually a year full of anxiety and stress and I didn't seem to be able to create peace in my heart and mind very well. By the end of that year, I realized that I couldn't get to peace without first learning to relax.
So "Relax" was my word for the next year. But as the year went on, I didn't relax. I realized I was really terrible at relaxing. I'm way too fixated on getting things done and being sure I meet my goals to be very good at relaxing. I couldn't relax because I was always worried about something or working on something or thinking about something I might need to worry about or work on. So I didn't relax very much.
By the end of that year, I realized that before I could relax, I need to let go of a lot of things. So last year my word was sort of two words - "Let Go." And I did let go of a whole lot of things last year - I let go of a lot of expectations of myself, my kids, and my husband. I often let go of my focus on maximizing and trying so hard to make things perfect. I cut myself and everyone around me a lot more slack than before. Sometimes I got to pat myself on the back as I really let go in situations where I would usually have been very worried, opinionated, and insistant.
But I still have a long ways to go when it comes to letting go. There are always so many things to care about! And I have a hard time not being tenatious with my caring. I have ideas about so many things - I can't seem to control that. And once I have an idea about something and it seems like a really good exciting idea, I have a hard time not getting attached to that idea. It's really hard for me to sort out what to let go of and then actually go through the process of letting go. Then it's hard to really relinquish that idea or hope and not pick it up again and get attached and excited and hopeful about it all over again.
I've realized that one of the biggest things that we need to learn in this life is when to hold on and when to let go, what to hope for and what to accept will never happen, what to insist on and what to back off about, what to cherish and what to cast out.
I've also toyed with having different mantras from time to time. I have several that have helped me quite a bit (when I remember them):
- There's always enough.
- Life is long,
- It's supposed to be hard and that's OK
- It always works out in the end.
- I'm so blessed.
- Everything is working out the way it should.
- Let go and let God.
- I don't need to be in charge of this.
- Will this matter in 10 years? Tomorrow? In 10 minutes?
I'm not sure what my word will be for 2019 but I'll figure it out. I'd also like to have a mantra(s) and resolutions that fleshes out my word. I'll let you know when I figure out what it should be!
Friday, December 28, 2018
Wednesday, November 21, 2018
Why This Blog Has Been Neglected
This blog has been sadly neglected for over a year now and I'm not sure if I have any followers out there anymore. But I feel like I want to gather some of my thoughts and experiences here again. Instagram generally works better for me as a way to keep our family journal these days but I share quite a bit in my weekly Power of Families newsletters and I figured I might as well put the personal parts of those newsletters here so I have all that in one place. I'll start by sharing those newsletters then see what happens from there.
I can't actually believe that I used to blog so regularly here - how in the world did I find the time? You'd think I'd have more time now that all the kids are in school, off at extracurricular activities or busy doing their own thing. Not only does it feel like I don't have time to write, I don't have as much that I feel comfortable sharing. I felt good about sharing stories of the naughty and cute things my little kids did on this blog. But I feel much more limited now about what is OK to share now that my kids are older. I celebrate their accomplishments and fun activities on Instagram but there are plenty of challenges and issues that need to stay private when it comes to older kids.
Plus I feel guarded about what I want to put out there regarding my personal life. I see critical comments on my sisters' blogs and remember a few not-so-nice comments I received here in the past and I shy away from sharing my thoughts and feelings.Whenver I'd publish a blog post with content that I thought maybe some people might view negatively, I'd get all anxious and worried about what people were thinking and what comments I might get. So I just backed away.
But I feel like I have some things to share that might be helpful to people outside my immediate circle, so we'll see how this goes and maybe I'll make this a private blog. I don't know. I'm just figuring it out as I go. But I feel like I should be making some effort here again.
Anyway, here's a little bit about me and I'll share some of what is going on with everyone else in my family in other posts.
About a year ago, I handed Power of Moms over to my partner April and started Power of Families where moms and DADS can learn and share as they strive to be the best parents they can be. I've wanted to create a community of purposeful parents as a companion to the community of deliberate mothers that April and I built for quite some time now and the timing finally felt right.
I've got a new podcast called Power of Families Radio, send out a weekly newsletter and offer lots of free resources plus some paid programs. We've got about 70,000 parents who are members of Power of Families and it's feeling manageable and meaningful for the most part.
Looking back, I realize now that I let Power of Moms control way too much of my life for the 10 years that I was running it. I held myself to impossibly high standards and got a LOT done but at a pretty steep cost. I really really wanted to help every mom and family that I could possibly help and spent pretty much every moment when my kids didn't need me and when I wasn't sleeping on Power of Moms stuff - and while I was always telling moms that they needed down time and didn't need to feel guilty about relaxing and taking time for themselves, I used every bit of time I ever had to myself to write articles and make podcast episodes and create programs to help families. I didn't watch TV. I didn't read. I did exercise regularly and protect my sleep but I totally forgot how to relax and have fun. And that wasn't good for me or my family.
I've learned to cut myself a lot more slack and be less intense and perfectionistic with Power of Families than I was with Power of Moms. If I get busy with something else and don't write a newsletter one week or skip doing my usual weekly podcast episode, I'm not stressed about it (and no one else seems to mind one bit).
I have a long ways to go when it comes to re-learning how to have fun and relax, but I think I'm in a much better place than I was a year ago in a lot of ways. It's not just Power of Families. I'm working on letting go of a lot of things that have been causing me to feel like I'm pretty much always a clenched fist. While I had so many little children and so many responsibliities outside my home, routines and schedules were vital to my sanity and focused, effective work filling every possible moment felt vital, I've realized it just doesn't work to live life like that forever. I'm learning to let things slide sometimes, to let myself go with the flow more, to be less deliberate and purposeful and just enjoy the moment from time to time.
I do a long hard hike with a friend every week and love the conversations and fresh air and exercise (we go in the early mornings to avoid the heat of the summer, we strap cleats on our shoes to hike over the ice in the winter - we've been going every week for about 5 years now).
I have some good times with Oliver and Silas every other day as they are doing 50% homeschool (I'll write more about that later). I just didn't feel like I was getting enough time with them and they are so fun to teach so I set up this arrangement with their school and they are taking some really great classes with the best teachers at their school on A days then they are home with me on B days and we do history, reading, writing, and lots of interesting projects together. They were wanting to do something different and 8th grade seemed like the right time to switch things up before they are in high school next year and grades count towards college admission and everything gets more complicated.
Our kitchen is being remodeled and it is taking WAY longer than expected and costing a lot more than expected. So there's a lot of stress there. But I'll save that for another post.
I'll write more later. Got to go eat the pizza Jared just brought home since our kitchen isn't functional right now and I've learned to let go of my the idea that I will make a homemade healthy dinner every night like I've generally done so religiously for so long.
I can't actually believe that I used to blog so regularly here - how in the world did I find the time? You'd think I'd have more time now that all the kids are in school, off at extracurricular activities or busy doing their own thing. Not only does it feel like I don't have time to write, I don't have as much that I feel comfortable sharing. I felt good about sharing stories of the naughty and cute things my little kids did on this blog. But I feel much more limited now about what is OK to share now that my kids are older. I celebrate their accomplishments and fun activities on Instagram but there are plenty of challenges and issues that need to stay private when it comes to older kids.
Plus I feel guarded about what I want to put out there regarding my personal life. I see critical comments on my sisters' blogs and remember a few not-so-nice comments I received here in the past and I shy away from sharing my thoughts and feelings.Whenver I'd publish a blog post with content that I thought maybe some people might view negatively, I'd get all anxious and worried about what people were thinking and what comments I might get. So I just backed away.
But I feel like I have some things to share that might be helpful to people outside my immediate circle, so we'll see how this goes and maybe I'll make this a private blog. I don't know. I'm just figuring it out as I go. But I feel like I should be making some effort here again.
Anyway, here's a little bit about me and I'll share some of what is going on with everyone else in my family in other posts.
About a year ago, I handed Power of Moms over to my partner April and started Power of Families where moms and DADS can learn and share as they strive to be the best parents they can be. I've wanted to create a community of purposeful parents as a companion to the community of deliberate mothers that April and I built for quite some time now and the timing finally felt right.
I've got a new podcast called Power of Families Radio, send out a weekly newsletter and offer lots of free resources plus some paid programs. We've got about 70,000 parents who are members of Power of Families and it's feeling manageable and meaningful for the most part.
Looking back, I realize now that I let Power of Moms control way too much of my life for the 10 years that I was running it. I held myself to impossibly high standards and got a LOT done but at a pretty steep cost. I really really wanted to help every mom and family that I could possibly help and spent pretty much every moment when my kids didn't need me and when I wasn't sleeping on Power of Moms stuff - and while I was always telling moms that they needed down time and didn't need to feel guilty about relaxing and taking time for themselves, I used every bit of time I ever had to myself to write articles and make podcast episodes and create programs to help families. I didn't watch TV. I didn't read. I did exercise regularly and protect my sleep but I totally forgot how to relax and have fun. And that wasn't good for me or my family.
I've learned to cut myself a lot more slack and be less intense and perfectionistic with Power of Families than I was with Power of Moms. If I get busy with something else and don't write a newsletter one week or skip doing my usual weekly podcast episode, I'm not stressed about it (and no one else seems to mind one bit).
I have a long ways to go when it comes to re-learning how to have fun and relax, but I think I'm in a much better place than I was a year ago in a lot of ways. It's not just Power of Families. I'm working on letting go of a lot of things that have been causing me to feel like I'm pretty much always a clenched fist. While I had so many little children and so many responsibliities outside my home, routines and schedules were vital to my sanity and focused, effective work filling every possible moment felt vital, I've realized it just doesn't work to live life like that forever. I'm learning to let things slide sometimes, to let myself go with the flow more, to be less deliberate and purposeful and just enjoy the moment from time to time.
I do a long hard hike with a friend every week and love the conversations and fresh air and exercise (we go in the early mornings to avoid the heat of the summer, we strap cleats on our shoes to hike over the ice in the winter - we've been going every week for about 5 years now).
I have some good times with Oliver and Silas every other day as they are doing 50% homeschool (I'll write more about that later). I just didn't feel like I was getting enough time with them and they are so fun to teach so I set up this arrangement with their school and they are taking some really great classes with the best teachers at their school on A days then they are home with me on B days and we do history, reading, writing, and lots of interesting projects together. They were wanting to do something different and 8th grade seemed like the right time to switch things up before they are in high school next year and grades count towards college admission and everything gets more complicated.
Our kitchen is being remodeled and it is taking WAY longer than expected and costing a lot more than expected. So there's a lot of stress there. But I'll save that for another post.
I'll write more later. Got to go eat the pizza Jared just brought home since our kitchen isn't functional right now and I've learned to let go of my the idea that I will make a homemade healthy dinner every night like I've generally done so religiously for so long.
Friday, November 16, 2018
Trip to NYC with Isaac
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Wednesday, November 14, 2018
Europe Part 5 - Switzerland and Germany Summer 2017
OK, I've had this draft just about ready to post for a REALLY long time now. And I've realized I'm just not going to get around to adding in photos any time soon so I'm just going to post it and maybe someday I'll get a chance to add in photos!
Here are our highlights from Switzerland and Germany
- Oohing and aahing at the beauty of Switzerland together - such jaw-dropping beauty around every bend!
- Enjoying time with Tal and Anita, fun in their pool, delicious barbeque with all the traditional Swiss sausages, gentle hike above a breathtakingly blue lake to a beautiful overlook
- Going to church - singing in German, attending Anita's great lesson in YW about women and the priesthood (she was kind enough to say everything in English as well as Swiss German), meeting some great people
- Spending some time with old friends from Boston - Nancy and Dave Michaels. So great to catch up with them and enjoy another tasty barbeque plus
- Visiting Lucerne and meeting a social media friend who has reached out to me so kindly over the years - so fun to talk in person; strolling around the beautiful town and picturesque lake and checking out the medieval bridge there
- Getting so excited together when we saw the Lauterbrunner Valley for the first time - waterfalls everywhere, huge cliffs, snow-capped mountains in the distance - it was so spectacular and we were in awe that we were going to actually be able to stay right there (in a cute little mobile home at the Camping Juangfrau campground)
- Walking along the Lauterbrunner valley floor surrounded by intense beauty on a perfect cool evening and hiking up to feel the mist and power of a couple different waterfalls, watching paragliders like birds above us and watching them land in a field nearby
- Eating dinner on the deck of our little mobile home with a spectacular waterfall right there, so nice to enjoy a homecooked meal (simple pasta and sauce with cheese and canned beans but so nice to have a sit-down dinner after all the bread and cheese and cucumbers and grab-and-go sandwiches that have been our staples)
Here are our highlights from Switzerland and Germany
- Oohing and aahing at the beauty of Switzerland together - such jaw-dropping beauty around every bend!
- Enjoying time with Tal and Anita, fun in their pool, delicious barbeque with all the traditional Swiss sausages, gentle hike above a breathtakingly blue lake to a beautiful overlook
- Going to church - singing in German, attending Anita's great lesson in YW about women and the priesthood (she was kind enough to say everything in English as well as Swiss German), meeting some great people
- Spending some time with old friends from Boston - Nancy and Dave Michaels. So great to catch up with them and enjoy another tasty barbeque plus
- Visiting Lucerne and meeting a social media friend who has reached out to me so kindly over the years - so fun to talk in person; strolling around the beautiful town and picturesque lake and checking out the medieval bridge there
- Getting so excited together when we saw the Lauterbrunner Valley for the first time - waterfalls everywhere, huge cliffs, snow-capped mountains in the distance - it was so spectacular and we were in awe that we were going to actually be able to stay right there (in a cute little mobile home at the Camping Juangfrau campground)
- Walking along the Lauterbrunner valley floor surrounded by intense beauty on a perfect cool evening and hiking up to feel the mist and power of a couple different waterfalls, watching paragliders like birds above us and watching them land in a field nearby
- Eating dinner on the deck of our little mobile home with a spectacular waterfall right there, so nice to enjoy a homecooked meal (simple pasta and sauce with cheese and canned beans but so nice to have a sit-down dinner after all the bread and cheese and cucumbers and grab-and-go sandwiches that have been our staples)
- Hiking and riding the tram at Issenfluh - relatively inexpensive tram ride to fields of amazing wildflowers (we hit the peak of wildflower season!) then a one hour steep-but-gorgeous hike to get to a mountain lake and then an absolutely amazing view of the three main snowy peeks of the area - Eiger, Jungfrau, and Monche.
- Paragliding - after weeding people's yards, washing people's dogs, and doing all sorts of jobs for anyone and everyone and saving up for months and praying (literally) every night that the weather would cooperate (they'd heard stories of how people were prevented from paragliding the whole time they were in Switzerland due to weather issues), the twins were beyond delighted when everything worked out perfectly for them to paraglide right off the edge of the cliff above Lauterbrunner and enjoy the feeling of flight plus the amazing scenery (strapped to an expert paraglider, of course). As it was almost Father's Day, we all chipped in to make sure Jared paraglided as well (he really wanted to go but was worried about how expensive everything was turning out to be and he's always so selfless, insisting everyone else go first or get what they want ahead of him). And even though Eliza hadn't quite saved up enough money and wasn't thinking she'd be able to paraglide with her broken arms and all, it turned out that there was no problem with her paragliding (when we asked, the guy said "it doesn't take any arms to paraglide!"). So we added to her savings a bit to make it work for her to paraglide - after her toughness through her injuries and her inability to do a lot of things she'd wanted to do on the trip, we were so happy to make sure she got a chance to do this very exciting thing she really wanted to do and COULD do with two broken arms!
- Swimming and picnicking at Lake Thun - we made our regular lunch of cheese and salami on crusty bread with cucumbers and carrots and cookies while sitting on a bench in a very nice semi-deserted campground right on the edge of this beautiful lake. It was such a gorgeous and peaceful setting and the boys had a great time swimming in that very cold refreshing water!
- Floating the river in Bern - took a while to find the right spot where you can jump of a pedestrian bridge and float to a safe place to get out, but we found it and the boys and Jared had SO much fun jumping and floating repeatedly while Eliza tried not to be too sad that she couldn't join them - it was not very fun for her! That river is just such a cool color and it was fun to do something that seemingly all the locals do all the time in the summer - we were surrounded by so many fun-loving Swiss people.
- Wandering through Bern Old Town on a lovely summer evening - so very charming! And we got to see the old clock strike the hour accompanied by automated little wooden people coming out to strike bells and do other little actions. Luckily we saw about 100 Asian tourists standing on the street looking up above an ancient archway so we knew to stop and look up ourselves!
- Visiting the lovely medieval French town of Colmar (HOT and sweaty but interesting to wander the city for a while and find some good lunch)
- Visiting Gengenbach - after lots of Google searching for the perfect little German town to visit in the few hours we had in Germany, we finally found something that was relatively on the way to Reims where we were headed for the night and that sounded like it might be a fun place to visit. We hit the jackpot! We drove to the outskirts of the town, parked the car, then walked for a few minutes to the middle of town where we were greeted by awesome live German folk music being played by a band in the amazingly charming storybookesque town square. Turns out the town was celebrating the Corpus Cristi (google if if you want) and there were all these interesting displays everywhere. We had a lovely couple of hours exploring the little town's back alleys, checking out the ancient town wall that still stands, seeing how the old mill there works, and eating some of the best gelato ever for just one euro a scoop. It was so good we had to go back for a second round!
Here's Ashton's Video of Switzerland (and our final day back in London before heading back home):
- Paragliding - after weeding people's yards, washing people's dogs, and doing all sorts of jobs for anyone and everyone and saving up for months and praying (literally) every night that the weather would cooperate (they'd heard stories of how people were prevented from paragliding the whole time they were in Switzerland due to weather issues), the twins were beyond delighted when everything worked out perfectly for them to paraglide right off the edge of the cliff above Lauterbrunner and enjoy the feeling of flight plus the amazing scenery (strapped to an expert paraglider, of course). As it was almost Father's Day, we all chipped in to make sure Jared paraglided as well (he really wanted to go but was worried about how expensive everything was turning out to be and he's always so selfless, insisting everyone else go first or get what they want ahead of him). And even though Eliza hadn't quite saved up enough money and wasn't thinking she'd be able to paraglide with her broken arms and all, it turned out that there was no problem with her paragliding (when we asked, the guy said "it doesn't take any arms to paraglide!"). So we added to her savings a bit to make it work for her to paraglide - after her toughness through her injuries and her inability to do a lot of things she'd wanted to do on the trip, we were so happy to make sure she got a chance to do this very exciting thing she really wanted to do and COULD do with two broken arms!
- Swimming and picnicking at Lake Thun - we made our regular lunch of cheese and salami on crusty bread with cucumbers and carrots and cookies while sitting on a bench in a very nice semi-deserted campground right on the edge of this beautiful lake. It was such a gorgeous and peaceful setting and the boys had a great time swimming in that very cold refreshing water!
- Floating the river in Bern - took a while to find the right spot where you can jump of a pedestrian bridge and float to a safe place to get out, but we found it and the boys and Jared had SO much fun jumping and floating repeatedly while Eliza tried not to be too sad that she couldn't join them - it was not very fun for her! That river is just such a cool color and it was fun to do something that seemingly all the locals do all the time in the summer - we were surrounded by so many fun-loving Swiss people.
- Wandering through Bern Old Town on a lovely summer evening - so very charming! And we got to see the old clock strike the hour accompanied by automated little wooden people coming out to strike bells and do other little actions. Luckily we saw about 100 Asian tourists standing on the street looking up above an ancient archway so we knew to stop and look up ourselves!
- Visiting the lovely medieval French town of Colmar (HOT and sweaty but interesting to wander the city for a while and find some good lunch)
- Visiting Gengenbach - after lots of Google searching for the perfect little German town to visit in the few hours we had in Germany, we finally found something that was relatively on the way to Reims where we were headed for the night and that sounded like it might be a fun place to visit. We hit the jackpot! We drove to the outskirts of the town, parked the car, then walked for a few minutes to the middle of town where we were greeted by awesome live German folk music being played by a band in the amazingly charming storybookesque town square. Turns out the town was celebrating the Corpus Cristi (google if if you want) and there were all these interesting displays everywhere. We had a lovely couple of hours exploring the little town's back alleys, checking out the ancient town wall that still stands, seeing how the old mill there works, and eating some of the best gelato ever for just one euro a scoop. It was so good we had to go back for a second round!
Here's Ashton's Video of Switzerland (and our final day back in London before heading back home):
Monday, May 14, 2018
Happy Mother's Day
I was born to a really amazing woman.
When they were in their late twenties, my mom and dad were asked to lead the England London South mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and oversee the 200 missionaries there. I'm sure this seemed pretty daunting - my dad's fledgling company would surely fold without his presence, they had 4 young children, the oldest of whom was a 5-year-old - me, and they'd never left the United States before. But they packed up and headed out and it proved to be a marvelous experience for everyone. My mom had two more babies (one of them - Jonah - very premature - scary stuff) during their 3-year tenure in England. And somehow she helped all those missionaries and all those babies feel completely loved and cared for.
After our time in England, my mom and dad weren't really interested in settling down in one place. They started writing parenting books - and as authors, they could live and work just about anywhere. They loved meeting new people and exploring new places and wanted to raise their children as "citizens of the world. We moved back and forth from Washington DC to Salt Lake City a couple times and spent summers enjoying the simple pleasures of Bear Lake and trying out new things - everything from living in Mexico to building a log cabin in Oregon.
My parents didn't have any formal education in child development or family sciences - my mom's trained as a musician and my dad had a career as a political consultant. But they had a lot of tried-and-true ideas and knew how to explain them in a way that really resonated. They started a program called Joy School that exploded into 1000's of parent-run co-op preschools around the United States and across the world. They would go on book tour to intoduce their books via TV shows and book signings all over the country. As their parenting books got more and more popular, they started giving speeches all over the place.
And through all that, they kept having kids until there were nine of us and nine just felt right.
This is a staged story time for a magazine photo shoot - nope, we didn't read as a group like this.But reading was really important in our home. And we did read scriptures together early every morning in the living room - half-asleep, curled up in our blankets on the couch.
Here's another staged photo. My mom did have us all learn instruments - music was so important to her. And the older kids did get up each morning and play string quartet pieces together with my mom and dad. But we didn't all play together like this. And Jonah doesn't play the mandolyn (he played the drums but I guess they were too hard to bring up from the basement). Tal doesn't play the guitar and I don't think Eli or Noah played the violin - I guess too many people on the piano wouldn't work for the photo. But the rest of us are playing what we really did learn to play! You can see my parents' musical instrument collection on the wall - they gathered a new instrument as part of all their travels. Many of us didn't love playing instruments and Mom was wise in not pushing certain people too far. But we all gained a great appreciation for music. And we won "Western musical family of the year" or something like that one year. I'm not sure if it's an award anyone else had ever heard of but my mom was pretty happy to get that plaque and feel that at least a piece of her dream of a family orchestra had come true!
Yep, another magazine photo but this is something we really did every day and I'm so glad it was captured - we had breakfast together every morning and had a serious family dinner together every evening.
But this is what my mom was doing during most dinners - I don't remember her sitting much:
When I was a missionary in Bulgaria, my parents' newest book, Teaching Children Values reached #1 on the NYTimes Bestseller list (being on Oprah with the whole family helped...) and their writing and speaking was elevated to a whole new level.
Since that NYTimes Bestseller boost, Mom and Dad have written a lot more books and travelled the world and speak in just about every industrialized nation plus have hands-on helped with or backed quite a bit of work in the 3rd world.
Here's my mom on a humanitarian service expedition to Bolivia that we went on as a family - Mom somehow made great friends despite the language barrier.
But most importantly, my mom has been an amazing mother to her nine children and anyone else who crosses her path and seems to need a little mothering.
My mom is probably the most kind and hardworking woman alive. She plows right into any task and never seems to get tired. She can talk to anyone about anything with genuine interest and concern. She's smart as a whip and kind as a saint. And yep, there were times when she got really mad or didn't handle things quite right. But she's great at apologizing and learning and moving on. And I especially love her for that.
When I was about 4, I yearned for pig tails or braids but my hair was so darn short and just didn't grow. I was always begging mom to do my hair in various ways that I saw on other little girls and that I thought would work for my hair that seemed like it was getting plenty long. Mom kept explaining that my hair just wasn't long enough. But one day when I asked, she dropped everything and did my hair in two miniscule braids. I was over the moon about it. I'm sure it looked ridiculous but I was so so so so happy.
When I turned 5, we had just moved into a new house in a new neighborhood and city. My sweet mom was determined that even though I hadn't had a chance to make any friends yet, I would get to have a really nice birthday party. So she invited all the kids in the neighborhood over - kids ranging in age from 3-10 or so - and made me the most amazing Winnie the Pooh cake. I wish I had a photo of it - but maybe it's good I don't. I don't think it could possibly look as beautiful in a photo as it does in my memories.
Here's a close-up of the cake - work of art, huh?
Mom was always the #1 supporter of Power of Moms and now of Power of Families. She immediately jumped at the idea of doing Retreats back when the twins were babies and did so much to make those first Retreats possible. She's hosted and been a keynote speaker at several Retreats at her house in Park City and is doing another one next month. She's always willing to do absolutely anything I ask and has great ideas. Plus pretty much all the best stuff I can offer other moms through Power of Moms and Power of Families is directly thanks to her example and writing and ideas!
Here's Mom, me, Shawni, Saydi and Charity at the first Power of Moms Retreat we did at my parents' house:
Thanks for everything, mom. This would be the longest blog post in the world if I were to try to include all the big and little things you've done for me and for countless others. I love you with all my heart. Happy Mother's Day!
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| Me and mom |
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| Mom with me and Shawni enjoying the cherry blossoms in Virginia where we lived |
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| one of many road trips - me in the back seat, Josh, Mom and Shawni |
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| Here we are in England - Mom is pregnant with #6 |
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At the hospital meeting baby #6, Talmadge
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After our time in England, my mom and dad weren't really interested in settling down in one place. They started writing parenting books - and as authors, they could live and work just about anywhere. They loved meeting new people and exploring new places and wanted to raise their children as "citizens of the world. We moved back and forth from Washington DC to Salt Lake City a couple times and spent summers enjoying the simple pleasures of Bear Lake and trying out new things - everything from living in Mexico to building a log cabin in Oregon.
My parents didn't have any formal education in child development or family sciences - my mom's trained as a musician and my dad had a career as a political consultant. But they had a lot of tried-and-true ideas and knew how to explain them in a way that really resonated. They started a program called Joy School that exploded into 1000's of parent-run co-op preschools around the United States and across the world. They would go on book tour to intoduce their books via TV shows and book signings all over the country. As their parenting books got more and more popular, they started giving speeches all over the place.
And through all that, they kept having kids until there were nine of us and nine just felt right.
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| book tour photo in the 80's
Here we are traipsing around Mexico - we lived there for a summer to learn Spanish and experience a different culture. My mom had her "learn Spanish" book with her all the time and worked so hard on it. The rest of us, not so much. I love how mom is always seeking to learn something new.
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| Here we are building a log cabin in Oregon one summer (to get in touch with our pioneer roots, develop grit, and have some serious bonding time and enjoyment of nature |
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| Here we are with mom the day she and dad brought Charity - #9 - home from the hospital. We were all over the moon about our new little sister - especially after 4 little brothers in a row! Mom taught us to adore babies. She was always so in love with her newborns and made us all so excited to be parents some day. |
Through all the busyness and book tours and travels, we all knew that being a mom was by far the most important thing to my mom.
She somehow found time to create beautiful memories with all of us. She shared her passion for nature and literature and art and music and travel with us. Through her example and her "buck up" attitude, she taught us to work hard and be tough. She taught us to embrace adventure. She taught us to notice those in need and reach out to them. She taught us to be interested in everything and everyone. She taught us to always be kind. She taught us to embody our family motto: "Broaden and Contribute."
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| Here's Mom with me and Saydi making dinner - good thing we had photographers pop in sometimes or I doubt we'd have any photos of this sort of every-day stuff. (and good thing I've got a photo of my awesome hair...) |
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| Mom and Noah (#7) |
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Here's another staged photo. My mom did have us all learn instruments - music was so important to her. And the older kids did get up each morning and play string quartet pieces together with my mom and dad. But we didn't all play together like this. And Jonah doesn't play the mandolyn (he played the drums but I guess they were too hard to bring up from the basement). Tal doesn't play the guitar and I don't think Eli or Noah played the violin - I guess too many people on the piano wouldn't work for the photo. But the rest of us are playing what we really did learn to play! You can see my parents' musical instrument collection on the wall - they gathered a new instrument as part of all their travels. Many of us didn't love playing instruments and Mom was wise in not pushing certain people too far. But we all gained a great appreciation for music. And we won "Western musical family of the year" or something like that one year. I'm not sure if it's an award anyone else had ever heard of but my mom was pretty happy to get that plaque and feel that at least a piece of her dream of a family orchestra had come true!
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But this is what my mom was doing during most dinners - I don't remember her sitting much:
Since that NYTimes Bestseller boost, Mom and Dad have written a lot more books and travelled the world and speak in just about every industrialized nation plus have hands-on helped with or backed quite a bit of work in the 3rd world.
Here's my mom on a humanitarian service expedition to Bolivia that we went on as a family - Mom somehow made great friends despite the language barrier.
But most importantly, my mom has been an amazing mother to her nine children and anyone else who crosses her path and seems to need a little mothering.
And she wants to help every other mom and grandma in the world to be the best mom or grandma they can be so she's written these awesome books:
A FEW SPECIFIC MEMORIES WITH MOM
I thought I'd finish by sharing some of my favorite memories with my mom here as well as some of my favorite photos. I'm SO amazingly blessed to have such a mother!
When I was about 4, I yearned for pig tails or braids but my hair was so darn short and just didn't grow. I was always begging mom to do my hair in various ways that I saw on other little girls and that I thought would work for my hair that seemed like it was getting plenty long. Mom kept explaining that my hair just wasn't long enough. But one day when I asked, she dropped everything and did my hair in two miniscule braids. I was over the moon about it. I'm sure it looked ridiculous but I was so so so so happy.
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| wish I had a photo of the braids - but you can see here how little hair Mom had to work with! |
When I turned 5, we had just moved into a new house in a new neighborhood and city. My sweet mom was determined that even though I hadn't had a chance to make any friends yet, I would get to have a really nice birthday party. So she invited all the kids in the neighborhood over - kids ranging in age from 3-10 or so - and made me the most amazing Winnie the Pooh cake. I wish I had a photo of it - but maybe it's good I don't. I don't think it could possibly look as beautiful in a photo as it does in my memories.
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| this is my 5th birthday party - no Pooh cake in site - but I love the way my mom is looking at me |
For every birthday, Mom made us a great cake in the shape of something and that meant so much to us. This photo shows the "little girl" cake I requested for my 6th birthday party right after we moved to London.
Here's a close-up of the cake - work of art, huh?
When I was six, I was shopping with my mom for a new coat and found one that I absolutely fell in love with - gray/blue velvet with fake fur trim - the most beautiful coat I'd ever seen. But it was wasn't exactly cheap and my mom was all about shopping on the sales racks and making due with whatever was a good price. I was thrilled when she agreed to buy me that coat. It was my most cherished piece of clothing for years. And then one day it disappeared from the school cloakroom. That was a sad sad day for me. Here's the coat (and Saydi and Shawni):
When I didn't have any friends my freshman year of high school, Mom would come pick me up at lunch when she could squeeze it in. I loved those days when I got to hang out with Mom rather than wandering the halls and trying not to look lonely and friendless at lunch. I realize now how hard it must have been for her to fit in those lunch visits when she still had preschoolers to take care of as well as SO many other things on her plate! To help me make friends, she arranged for me to be in a violin sextet that performed all over. She had to take me to rehearsals at 5:45am at my violin teacher's house and drive me to performances. But I made great friends. I also made great friends when she totally supported me in being in a play that involved rehearsals every day and she had to drive me to most of those.
My first year at Wellesley College, Mom sent me a lovely postcard with an art print on it EVERY SINGLE DAY. She'd fill up the backs of those postcards with great bits of news about everything going on at home. She'd often start by telling me where she was as she wrote the post card - often the line at the grocery store or the post office, often waiting to pick up a carpool. My roommates and friends were amazed (and jealous) at the postcards I received every day. And those cards were a beautiful lifeline to home during that first hard year away. Plus it was great to have those beautiful postcards - I decorated the back of my dorm room door with postcards of my favorite art prints. I love how mom's postcards helped me feel a bond to her and to everyone at home while strengthening the bond we share through our mutual love of art.
Mom has always been there to help with each of my babies, stocking our fridge, making wonderful gourmet meals, showering love and attention on the older children, taking care of a fussy newborn who had already eaten but couldn't quite settle in the middle of the night so Jared and I could get a little more rest. I wish I had more pictures of that precious post-baby time I had with my mom after each child was born.
On the same note, years later, when I was going to my first formal dance in high school, I showed my mom this dress I thought would be absolutely perfect. I was sheepish about even showing it to her because it was really expensive - and while I'd saved up quite a bit of money (we bought all our own clothes after earning money in our family economy system), I knew I couldn't buy it without some considerable help from my mom. Much to my surprise and delight, my mom said she'd be happy to buy it for me and I didn't even have to use any of my own money. I felt like the luckiest girl in the world and had so much confidence wearing that dress!
When I didn't have any friends my freshman year of high school, Mom would come pick me up at lunch when she could squeeze it in. I loved those days when I got to hang out with Mom rather than wandering the halls and trying not to look lonely and friendless at lunch. I realize now how hard it must have been for her to fit in those lunch visits when she still had preschoolers to take care of as well as SO many other things on her plate! To help me make friends, she arranged for me to be in a violin sextet that performed all over. She had to take me to rehearsals at 5:45am at my violin teacher's house and drive me to performances. But I made great friends. I also made great friends when she totally supported me in being in a play that involved rehearsals every day and she had to drive me to most of those.
My first year at Wellesley College, Mom sent me a lovely postcard with an art print on it EVERY SINGLE DAY. She'd fill up the backs of those postcards with great bits of news about everything going on at home. She'd often start by telling me where she was as she wrote the post card - often the line at the grocery store or the post office, often waiting to pick up a carpool. My roommates and friends were amazed (and jealous) at the postcards I received every day. And those cards were a beautiful lifeline to home during that first hard year away. Plus it was great to have those beautiful postcards - I decorated the back of my dorm room door with postcards of my favorite art prints. I love how mom's postcards helped me feel a bond to her and to everyone at home while strengthening the bond we share through our mutual love of art.
Mom has always been there to help with each of my babies, stocking our fridge, making wonderful gourmet meals, showering love and attention on the older children, taking care of a fussy newborn who had already eaten but couldn't quite settle in the middle of the night so Jared and I could get a little more rest. I wish I had more pictures of that precious post-baby time I had with my mom after each child was born.
Here's Mom, me, Shawni, Saydi and Charity at the first Power of Moms Retreat we did at my parents' house:
