As well as recording what we did and what we looked like and how I felt about things, I want record some of the things that interested me, what made me think, what I listened to and watched that fed my thoughts.
So here are a few things I've found to be really interesting and that I've discussed with Jared and other friends lately:
Alaa Murabit: What My Religion Really Says About Women - I've always wanted to understand more about Islam and about what Muslim women think about their religion - this was very insightful - great to see a faithful woman explain how her devotion to her faith can be compatible with her belief that women and men are equal and that women's voices need to be heard in religion.
Brene Brown: On Vulnerability - The one thing that keeps us out of connection is our fear that we're not worthy of connection; we can't treat others with real compassion if we don't show compassion to ourselves; people who are really good at connecting with others are generally people who can see that what makes them vulnerable also makes them beautiful. When we numb our worries and fears, we also numb joy and excitement and other positive emotions. Tips to enbrace vulnerability and find more connection: let yourself be seen - really seen, love with your whole heart (even though there's no guarantee), practice gratitude and joy (realize that even in the worst of times, there is so much to be grateful for and the more we focus there, the better we feel), embrace "I am enough."
I recently discovered the NPR podcast, Invisibilia (thanks to my sister Saydi). I love it! So much great food for thought. I've listened to all the episodes I could find during my runs over the past month or so. My brain really got whiring as I listened to each of the episodes linked below and I loved discussing a few of them with a friend on my hike on Wednesday - nothing like a good invigorating discussiong during a slightly-rainy, very sweaty, super-beautiful hike!
Fearless - We are wired to react strongly to fear as part of our nature - to keep us safe. But in today's world, we don't have that many real threats but do have TONS of exposure to scary things thanks to the Internet and the news so we have the fear centers of our brains lighting up ALL the time and that isn't so good for us (perhaps this is why there's so much anxiety in today's world? And this is certainly why our children don't have the freedom they need to develop properly...). Does fear really help us? (Story of a woman who actually cannot feel fear at all and how that affects her.) Can we get rid of certain fears through deeper understanding of whatever we're afraid of?
The Secret History of Thoughts - Do our thoughts really matter? When we have crazy thoughts, does that pretty much always mean there's some underlying issue in our past that needs to be resolved? (this would be Freud's theory) Or are some thoughts just dumb random things that pop into our heads and that we should learn to ignore? (a newer theory on thoughts that's become popular). Super interesting story about a kid who was assumed to be a vegetable for many many years but who was actually totally aware of everything going on but had no way to indicate to his parents or others around him that he was "in there." He had to live entirely alone in his own thoughts for many years - how he made that work...
I listened to this while running today - it put into words many of my own thoughts about how religion and science can work hand in hand:
A Climate for Change
Also, I've been reading the scriptures in a deeper and more meaningful way than I have in years (I've got this challenge going on with my mom and sisters where we're all trying to make sure we do serious sit-down scripture study for at least 20 minutes a day, at least 6 days a week. I have to admit I haven't been as consistent and thorough with this as I want to be but I'm working on it and I'm doing a lot more scripture study that I was before this challenge started so even if it's not 20 minutes 6 days a week, it's 10-15 minutes pretty much every day and 20 minutes more and more days...). I've found that my days go SO much better when I take some time for personal scripture study and reflection on how I can apply what I'm reading to my life. I'm following the New Testament reading guide for Sunday School this year - I just love the New Testament so much and Paul is one super interesting guy (we're in Acts right now). Once you get into it, the stories are compelling and there is so much to think about and learn.
I've also been thinking a lot lately about how my life is just too jam-packed and about how totally tired I am so much of the time. I've been feeling totally overwhelmed - and totally unsure about what to do about that. Everything I'm doing seems pretty necessary - and/or it feels even more overwhelming to figure out how to get out of doing any of the things I'm doing. I know that everything will feel more manageable if I do a better job protecting my sleep so I'll start with working on that. Getting up at 6:30 every morning now that school is back in session has been brutal when it's so hard to get to bed at a decent hour (our evenings are just so darn packed!). And I naively thought that once the kids were back in school, I'd be able to get my feet back under me as far as all the Power of Moms and Joy School work that piled up while I was trying to minimize my time on the computer in the summer. Every day since school starts, it seems like there's been something that I need to do that doesn't allow me the blocks of time I need to get stuff done while the kids are at school. There have been dr appointments for sports physicals and immunizations, there have been meetings, and I've needed to help Ashton manage his time since he didn't start school when the other kids did plus he needed rides home from football practice and we had apointments at his school to get him situated in the exciting and scary new world of high school....
Anyway, I'll let you know how this goes. But send some positive thoughts my way as I try to figure out how to get my life going at a more manageable pace!
9 comments:
Dear Saren,
I so appreciate you. I remember the first two years my husband and I started our business, I felt like I was running on marbles on ice! I could not catch my breath. When I read how overwhelmed you feel, I had to write and say I understand. It is so difficult to get a handle on things when the sheer volume of everything combined is so great. Your plate has become a platter. I also want to say how much gratitude I have for who you are, who you strive to be and how much my life has improved because of you. If you never did another thing on this blog or for POM, what you have already done would be enough.
What would happen if you took 30 days off--from this blog, from POM, from any commitments other than your immediate family? What if you had 30 days to get your feet back under you? I'm guessing those that read your blog would applaud and support you. I'm also guessing that your POM team would step in and happily take care of whatever they could. If some things get postponed, so be it! Same thing with the other things you're committed to. People love the opportunity to serve when they are in the position to do so--especially someone like you who gives so much of herself to so many. I also want to add that I've found having solo time in my own home to nest, cook, think and go at my own pace often more restorative than a vacation.
Thank you for such honest posts and I hope you'll consider my suggestion:). Much Love and Support-Natalie
I agree with Natalie. Plus the pressure of your entire family and how you grew up. I hope you can get some sleep! Your family is beautiful!
I agree with Natalie, all I could think of was Take care of the person inside the Mommy ;)
I have a great idea. Stop doing so much. What activities are taking up so much evening time? Stop them. If your kids get upset, too bad. It will be a "hard thing" to have to sacrifice some activity for Mom's health and sanity.
As a working Mom throughout my son's entire childhood, I have ZERO sympathy for the poor SAHM's who "just don't have any time". Boo to the freakin hoo. Try to do everything you need to do for home, husband and kids while also working a 40+ hour week job.
I so appreciate this kind and helpful comment! Your words there are the beginning made me cry with gratitude. I know that I have to cut back on my work hours in order to be the mom and wife and person that I want and need to be. For me, taking a full month off would make me more stressed than I already am. But since writing this, I have streamlined some things, said no to more things, figured out how to get some more sleep, and put firmer boundaries around my work hours so that I can get the most important things done for power of Mom and put off the rest. Much easier said than done, but I'm prioritizing better.
Just FYI, I run two businesses on top of having my my children and home to care for. For 8 years now, I've workedl 50-60 hours a week on power of moms and joy school. I long for the days when I used to work for a company and could take vacation time and end my work day at a reasonable hour, passing off whatever I hadn't finished to someone else if need be. I miss the days of s steady paycheck. Small startups make sporadic income with overhead expenses that have to be paid whenever or not there is much income that month. I thought that running my own business would give me more flexibility to be the mom that I want to be. But actually, I feel a lot less flexibility because if I don't do something that needs to be done, then it just won't get done , and that often has serious ramifications based on contracts signed and agreements made. But I have been working hard to figure out how to cut while still doing the things my heart tells me are most essential.
Just FYI, I run two businesses on top of having my my children and home to care for. For 8 years now, I've workedl 50-60 hours a week on power of moms and joy school. I long for the days when I used to work for a company and could take vacation time and end my work day at a reasonable hour, passing off whatever I hadn't finished to someone else if need be. I miss the days of s steady paycheck. Small startups make sporadic income with overhead expenses that have to be paid whenever or not there is much income that month. I thought that running my own business would give me more flexibility to be the mom that I want to be. But actually, I feel a lot less flexibility because if I don't do something that needs to be done, then it just won't get done , and that often has serious ramifications based on contracts signed and agreements made. But I have been working hard to figure out how to cut while still doing the things my heart tells me are most essential.
But the thing is - you don't HAVE to do the power of mom's thing. Do you? I mean, I know you want to - but doesn't your husband make enough money to support your family? Hard thing, but it might be the thing to be given up, if it's something non essential for income.
I worked outside the home because we needed the money for living expenses. If my husband had made more money I would have stayed home with my son. I also chose to have only one child....
No offense, but in reading your blog and your sisters' blogs - it seems like it is a competition to see who can be the busiest and most frazzled? Who has the most kids? Who went abroad and why? I think there is a lot of stress in that, probably not even on a conscious level.
Unknown, wow, you presume to know a lot about the inner workings of these people lives and hearts and brains and subconscious. I am astounded at your drive to judge (mostly wrongly I think) what's going on in the Eyre family. I know a few of the brothers personally and I think you've misread the situation. They don't compete with each other, they just value the a lot of the same things, feel a lot of responsibility to give back to the world in some way. That's not bad or good, maybe just different from the things you're compelled to do. Can't we all just support each other?
No offense, but it seems like you have a bit of a chip on your shoulder. Maybe you should examine what's happening under the surface on your end before you try to examine it for others.
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