Conference Weekend

Somehow this draft never got published - so it's sort of old news now. Oh well.

At long last, we made it down to Saint George this past weekend (well, several weekends ago now). Due to an over-abundance of family events other scheduling issues, we hadn't yet met the great new renters/buyers (they're doing a lease option) who moved in months ago. It was so good to see the house looking so beautiful and to go over some things about the house in person with its new occupants.

While we were there, we were able to enjoy one of our all-time favorite family hikes (Castle Rock), swim in the pool in our development that was a huge part of the kids' growing-up experiences, and see some dear friends.

Plus we watched and listened to Conference and were richly fed. I thought Conference offered an extra-lot of concrete and direct messages addressing issues that have been on the forefront of a whole lot of church-member's minds combined with beautiful reminders of the truths we know but need to remember and understand more fully.

We drove north during the morning session on Sunday so we could spend a few precious hours with my sister Charity who was in town from California. We watched the afternoon session with her and she and I enjoyed some great walks and talks afterwards. Nothing like talking with a sister about what we're learning and about the "happy's" and "sad's" in our lives.

We found the most perfect autumn tree on our walk and loved watching its leaves shimmer and make that special sound that reminded us so strongly of the breeze we fell asleep to and woke up to in the home we grew up in (there were lovely quaken asp trees all over in the front yard of that house).

My Conference Notes
(I'm including this here so I can easily find this stuff and refer back to it. These notes are things that stood out specifically to me - things I need to remember and/or do. What I've written here is not meant to be a summary and likely doesn't involve messages that will resonate with everyone. I love how every one of us who listens to these talks can find something that is specifically for us, if we listen with purpose, using the Spirit.)

Saturday Morning Session

• Hales. Leaders work very hard to find what God wants them to share in conference. Some things said will be hard for you but if you listen with faith like they are words straight from God, you will be greatly blessed. To do: Learn the whole armor of God scripture (Ephesians 6: 11, 14-18)
• Soares. Come into Christ. Be meek like Christ. Do something a little better each day. Control tempers. Be humble. Just take it when people are giving us a hard time - take it with love.
• Sister Stephens. Use the Holy Ghost - a gift we all have, a gift of real power. Endowment is power fully available to both men and women. Priesthood power in its highest form is only available to a man and woman together. Great stories (review them). Women are blessed and strengthened through the  covenants they keep. Men and women need each other.
• Dube. Covenants say we will accept callings. Be not weary in well doing. Teamwork is vital
• Bendnar. Tithing. There will always be enough and to spare. Be sure kids see when I'm paying tithing, share more personal stories of how tithing has helped us with them.
• Uckdorf. Members are asked to do a lot not by leaders but by God. Ask questions and worship in accordance to the dictates of our own conscience. God is working with imperfect people so mistakes are made. Some suffer because of mistakes but no significant decision in the church is ever made w/o serious direction from God. Come and add your talents and its ok to have questions. You probably  have more in common with others than you think. The church is designed to help those who are struggling. There is room for everyone in this church. Many of the finest souls are in the church but we're not perfect people. If you seek truth and want to make truth into action, come.

Saturday Afternoon Session (need to finish watching this - we were hiking and fixing up our house Sat afternoon so I've got a little catch-up to do)

Sunday Morning Session

• Eyring. Greatest commandment. Love God and love one another. Fulfill callings to obey these commandments. The miracle of becoming one in marriage takes time and takes lots of love and use of the holy ghost. Life in families is meant to test us.
• Oaks. Don't serve other gods. Traditional families are increasingly less common. Let us have the courage to not compromise about things that are essential parts of goods plan.
• Sister Oscarson. Choose you this day who you will serve. Story of Isabel. Great chance to have a great life with another family. Mother said no. Gospel was more important. Story of avoiding immobility and substance abuse in the 60's. Don't expect the reward w/o working for it. You have the primary responsibility for your own conversion. seek the things of a better world.
• Mayes. We make mistakes. Christ has made it possible to be whole again. Must have ordinances and endure to the end. Testimonies like our bodies need to be whipped onto shape. We have to develop spiritual stamina..we have to pay the price of stamina and work to finish the race. To do: Memorize 2 Timothy 4:7 - "I have tonight a God fight, I have kept the faith."
• Scott. Story of Ammon. buried weapons. Were counseled not to defend their families physically. More important to defend themselves spirituality.Monson. Gratitude for wife. Suffering and sadness are universal.we need to become more spiritually refined through our hard times. Commitment to God should not eb and flow. Must listen and pray every hour whether they be hours of sunshine or not.
• Monson. Gratitude for wife. Suffering and sadness are universal.we need to become more spiritually refined through our hard times. Commitment to God should not eb and flow. Must listen and pray every hour whether they be hours of sunshine or not.

Sunday Afternoon Session

(I was taking notes on my phone which sadly died and lost my notes on the 2nd to last talk. Darn! Will re-create and re-listen soon)

What I learned in 2012

As a way of seeing what I want to do in 2013, I worked up this list of lessons I've learned in 2012 that I'd prefer not to have to learn all over again in 2013. These things are thrown down in no particular order and I'm sure I've left a lot of things off - but it's a start!

1.  Making specific lists of what I want each child to do and then taking the time to follow up and train and check and praise makes all the difference in the world when it comes to children actually doing what they've been asked to do. I've finally come to terms with the fact that even when you ask a child to do something repeatedly and give pretty good instructions, it just doesn't happen without some pretty serious hand-holding. And doing a job WITH my kids one-on-one can actually turn a dreaded chore into a positive relationship-building activity.

2. There's a lot of stuff that I really can't and shouldn't control. Let go. Let go. Let go.

3. There's a lot of stuff that I can influence with love and patience and suggestions that are offered with no strings attached.

4. I need to spend time outside every day (even when it's freezing and snowing). I need to exercise every day (even if it's just running up and down stairs a few times in my house or doing a quick jog around the block wearing whatever I happen to be wearing - changing into workout clothes and worrying about serious sweating leading to a need for a shower has been holding me back all these years...). I'm a way nicer person if I get outside and exercise every day - even if it's just for a few minutes.

5. I don't have to be C.E.O. of the world. I don't have to volunteer for everything that needs to be done or do a fabulous job of everything I said I'd do. The only job I must not pass up is the job of being mother to my children and wife to my husband. I am expendable in every other area.

6. I like running. It's taken me a couple years to get to this point after a 10-year break from running. But now I can honestly say I like running. It makes me feel strong and alive. It makes me feel OK about loving cookies so much. It gives me adrenaline and endorphins which I really need.

7. I need to spend more time with people during the day. Working at my computer for many solid hours while the kids are at school day after day isn't good for me. Going running or hiking with friends at least once a week makes me a lot happier.

8. It's OK for the kids to eat less-than-ideal school lunches. I wish I could change what kids are being fed in our schools and I'll chip away at that over the years. But my life is SO much less stressful when I don't have to worry about packing lunches and the school lunches are way better this year than in years past thanks to some new regulations plus they offer fresh fruits and veggies every day and my kids report back every day that they took and ate the maximum on fruits and veggies (still I really don't get why such grizzly meat and so much cheese and peanut butter and so many hot dogs have to be on the menu...). They get healthy breakfasts and dinners and snacks here at home. If some of that gross plasticy nacho cheese stuff and the occasional hot dog is part of their diet, they'll be fine.

9. Pre-teens can be huge assets if you take the time to really listen and to involve them as assets in your family.  If you don't help them be assets, they'll drive you crazy. (I wrote a whole article about what I've been learning about pre-teens here if you want to check it out.)

10. Hurrying is never fun for anyone. Hurrying is one of the biggest "joy suckers" around. Plan better. Pad the time I think things will take (stop being so optimistic about how long things take). Do less. Rush less.

11. It's OK to not be anxiously involved in something meaningful every minute of every day. Relax more. Go with the flow more. Look for and embrace serendipity more. (And refer back to #5.)

12. Don't get on the computer after the kids are in bed. If I do, I'll inevitably get sucked into something and won't have any quality time with my husband or time to read or do other things that ultimately are much more important than squeezing in one more reply to an email or one more fix on the website. Then when I'm tired, I'll start doing things that aren't even productive at all like shopping online for something I don't really need or looking at blogs I don't really care about. Do what I need to do on the computer while the kids are at school then be DONE for the day.

13. Do the first things first. I often do the second or third or tenth priority things first. Then the first things don't get done. When I take time the night before to plan three top-priority things for each day, one for work, one for my family, one for myself and do those three things first, everything just works so much better. (Whole article about that here.)

14. Read scriptures and write in scripture journal daily. I've been a serious slacker lately, reading just a verse or two each night. My life goes better and I find beautiful stuff when I read diligently and look for what the Lord really wants to tell me each night in the scriptures, then write a couple lines in my scripture journal about the messages I received. (See scripture challenge posts - tagged on right - will get back on track with these!)

15. I learned a lot about marriage this year - and I'm going to re-read this post that I wrote on our last anniversary regularly so I don't have to keep learning these things.

16. I have some really great kids and I'm often too hard on them. My parenting mantra for the last part of 2012 became "Raise the Praise, Minimize the Criticize" - but I need to embrace this mantra more completely.

17. When I'm feeling anxious and overwhelmed, meditation can really help. If I close my eyes, totally relax and say my favorite scripture - Psalm 23 - over in my head for about 10 minutes, I feel remarkably more calm and ready to face the world.

18. Things always get better. Sooner or later. Even when things seem impossible, things work out OK. Stop doubting. Stop relying so much on my own power and possibilities. Have more faith and trust.

19. The house will never be completely clean. Parts may be clean. Clutter can be kept under control and basic cleanliness can be achieved with daily 5-minute tasks done by all family members. But a fully clean and organized house is just never going to happen. And that's OK.

20. I have a really good life. I am blessed. God is good. All is well.

Scripture Challenge - Week 4 - Real Rejoicing

It rained. Finally. I can't even remember when it last rained.

I've got all my windows open and I can smell the rain and feel a soft cool humid breeze. It makes me happy.

I've been focusing on rejoicing this week and wow, there are plenty of things to rejoice about.

I read Mosiah 9-15 this week - all about wicked King Noah and Abinadi. When Abinadi pointed out their iniquities and called them to repentance(they were living lavishly on the backs of their people, enjoying the company of harlots, that sort of thing), King Noah's priests responded by quoting some beautiful passages in Isaiah. "How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him that bringing good tidings, that publisheth peace, that bringeth good tidings of good, that publisheth salvation...Break forth into joy, sing together ye waste places of Jerusalem; for the Lord hath comforted his people, he hath redeemed Jerusalem." By quoting these scripture passages, the priests were chastising Abinadi for calling them to repentance rather than bringing good tidings. They felt justified in living lives of what they likely considered to be joy and felt they'd been redeemed so all was well.

Abinadi spoke boldly, even after being threatened with death. He laid out the commandments and quoted Isaiah right back at them he explained the Atonement and talked about what redemption really means. He explained that he WAS publishing peace, as have all the prophets, by helping people understand and live the commandments that can bring them joy in their lives while helping them understand the love of God and the beauty of the Atonement of Christ.

Anyway, along with gaining a greater appreciation for Abinadi's amazing courage and power as a teacher and a deeper understanding of the Atonement, this passage made me think about how scripture can be used in so many ways. The same passage can be used to condone and condemn at the same time. We ARE supposed to rejoice - but we're supposed to strive and strain and stretch at the same time.

God loves us and Jesus paid for our sins, most definitely, but that doesn't mean we can sit back, do whatever is easy and fun, and things will work out fine in the end. God's love is free and fully available to all of us and He's given us commandments we can use to help us make wise decisions. But when we mess up, it's up to us to reach out and draw close to Him and use the Atonement so we can get back to a place where we can honestly rejoice again. Real rejoicing comes from understanding and work and gratitude and repenting and moving forward armed with what we have learned. Real rejoicing comes from figuring out God's will and aligning our will with His and then feeling the joy of knowing we're doing the right thing (I'd like to feel this joy more often - guess I'd better be more prayerful about my day-to-day decisions). Real rejoicing doesn't come easy and often comes in scattered moments that can be hard to prolong as we have a hard time sustaining a prayerful closeness to God, doing the good things we know we're supposed to do, and staying away from sin...

And one other thing, after all Abinadi's work and sacrifice, he was mocked and put to death and perhaps died thinking nothing he said had made a difference. But one of the priests was really listening and really understanding. Abinadi's words entered Alma's heart and Alma went on to become a great prophet and leader and the father of another great prophet and leader.

I love the reminder that even when I sure can't tell if the things I'm working so hard to do are actually making a difference, if I do what I feel must be done, the right things will result. So often, I feel like what I can do for my kids, for my husband, for my extended family, and for the other moms in the world via Power of Moms is such a lot of work and is just a drop in the bucket. But drops create ripples. And ripples go on and on and on. I think my greatest moments of rejoicing come when I get a chance to glimpse the effects of one of those ripples...

OK, so that got a little deep and I'm not sure I've fully got all this. But there are some of my thoughts from this past week...

Scripture Challenge - Week 3

So I'm a day late on my scripture report. I was running the Grand Teton Relay all weekend (literally all weekend - over 30 hours of running or supporting the other runners on our 12-person team - photos and more info later...). Then we had church in Ashton, quick pack-up and family dinner at Jared's mom's house, drove home, went straight to a neighborhood back-to-school potluck last night, rushed to get the kids to bed and the uniforms laid out and the backpacks and lunches packed since they started school this morning (more on that later too) and then fell into bed for a night that felt too short even though we had almost 8 hours to sleep...Despite my resolutions to slow down, some days are still going to have to be crazy. I can minimize but I can't totally get rid of busy days where things fit together like a sloppily done jigsaw puzzle.

Anyway, I read Mosiah 6-9 this week and here's what really stood out to me:

Mosiah 7:29: Lift up your heads and rejoice and put your trust in God. 7:33: But if ye will turn to the Lord with full purpose of heart and put your trust in him and serve him with all diligence of mind, if you do this, he will, according to his own will and pleasure, deliver you out of bondage.

I need to focus more on really turning to the Lord, asking myself daily what I can do to serve Him best, and trusting that His way is the best way. I need to more fully realize that I'm not in charge, that He has a plan, and that His plan, although it sometimes seems convoluted when I can't see the bigger picture and times are tough, is really the best plan. He has always delivered me from my burdens. Not usually quickly. Not usually in a manner that I hope for or expect. But according to God's wise will, I am delivered at the right time in the right way. And when I plow through the hard stuff with trust and obedience and all the rejoicing I can muster up, it's not easy but it's sure a lot more pleasant than wallowing in the hard stuff and wishing things were different and bemoaning the way things are.

Rejoice and trust. Two commandments I need to more fully embrace.

Scripture Challenge - Week 1

When we got together for our brief MFME (Mothers and Future Mothers of Eyrealm) meeting at Bear Lake this year, one of our main topics of discussion was how we can all be more motivated about our scripture reading. It was great to hear each other's ideas about how to breathe new life into our scripture reading and learn to really "feast" from the scriptures daily.

I came away determined to not only read every single day, but make my reading much more meaningful. And since we're more motivated when we know we have to report to someone else, we all committed to read every day, in our own way, and check up on each other, occasionally sharing what we've learned. We'll all report back about our most meaningful experiences and practices with scripture reading when we go on a big MFME get-away this coming February.

My plan (which I'm still working on doing as consistently as I'd like) is to do this every night:

1. Say a quick prayer asking the Lord to tell me whatever He'd like to tell me through the scriptures that night.
2. Read with intent - look for what the Lord wants to tell me.
3. Write down the messages and questions I receive in a special book I keep by my scriptures - just a few lines along with the scripture reference that prompted the thoughts or actions or questions that came to mind. Often I write down a specific action I should do. Often it's just a reminder of something I should work on. Sometimes it's a question I'll research further in my scripture reading.

So the past couple of weeks, I've seen a real change in my life as I've earnestly sought God's will in my daily life through reaching deeper in my prayers and my scripture study and recording what I learn.

And to help hold myself accountable, I'm committing to share one little experience or lesson prompted by my scripture reading on this blog each Sunday.

Here's a little example of something prompted by scripture study this past week:
When reading Jarom, Omni and Words of Mormon and the beginning of Mosiah in the Book of Mormon, there's a lot of stuff about the importance of keeping records and the importance of thinking about what we should write about and what we shouldn't write about because it's been done before or because it's best left to someone else.

This prompted me to re-examine what I feel is most important to record on this blog and in my personal journal and what I should really encourage my kids to write about in their journals.

It also got me thinking about how I need to use the records I've kept to enrich my kids' lives. So I pulled out one of my old journals from 5th through 7th grade to read with Isaac and Ashton on Sunday and it was such a great experience for me - plus it seemed like they were pretty into it (11 and 12 year old boys don't seem to be particularly demonstrative with their enthusiasm...). One story I'd totally forgotten about was then when I was driving across the country with dad to get a car back to utah from virginia after we'd been living there, we stopped at an antique shop and I fell in love with a doll there but it cost $27 and I only had $12. Dad saw me looking at it and asked why I didn't buy it if I liked it so much. I said I didn't have enough money. He asked whether I was sure about how much money I had and I checked again and found that an extra $20 bill was in there so I had $32 and could buy the doll. I was SO excited. I still have that doll.

Anyway, the really good part of the story was that yesterday we helped our neighbors with a yard sale and the twins had enough money to buy a couple little things they were excited about but then they found a couple stuffed penguins they desperately wanted but they were out of money. Ashton came home from playing his guitar at the Farmer's Market down the road with a huge smile on his face and over $20 that he'd earned in tips (bless those kind people's hearts!). He saw the twins' plight in wanting those penguins, asked them how much money they needed, heard about how they were out of money, then slyly threw the dollar they each needed at their feet and told them to check around to see if they could find the money to buy the penguins. Sure enough - they found the dollar they needed right on the floor and were SO excited!

I guess Ashton got at least a little something out of our journal-reading session last Sunday.