Wednesday, November 21, 2018

Why This Blog Has Been Neglected

This blog has been sadly neglected for over a year now and I'm not sure if I have any followers out there anymore. But I feel like I want to gather some of my thoughts and experiences here again. Instagram generally works better for me as a way to keep our family journal these days but I share quite a bit in my weekly Power of Families newsletters and I figured I might as well put the personal parts of those newsletters here so I have all that in one place. I'll start by sharing those newsletters then see what happens from there.

I can't actually believe that I used to blog so regularly here - how in the world did I find the time? You'd think I'd have more time now that all the kids are in school, off at extracurricular activities or busy doing their own thing. Not only does it feel like I don't have time to write, I don't have as much that I feel comfortable sharing. I felt good about sharing stories of the naughty and cute things my little kids did on this blog. But I feel much more limited now about what is OK to share now that my kids are older. I celebrate their accomplishments and fun activities on Instagram but there are plenty of challenges and issues that need to stay private when it comes to older kids.

Plus I feel guarded about what I want to put out there regarding my personal life. I see critical comments on my sisters' blogs and remember a few not-so-nice comments I received here in the past and I shy away from sharing my thoughts and feelings.Whenver I'd publish a blog post with content that I thought maybe some people might view negatively, I'd get all anxious and worried about what people were thinking and what comments I might get. So I just backed away.

But I feel like I have some things to share that might be helpful to people outside my immediate circle, so we'll see how this goes and maybe I'll make this a private blog. I don't know. I'm just figuring it out as I go. But I feel like I should be making some effort here again.

Anyway, here's a little bit about me and I'll share some of what is going on with everyone else in my family in other posts.

About a year ago, I handed Power of Moms over to my partner April and started Power of Families where moms and DADS can learn and share as they strive to be the best parents they can be. I've wanted to create a community of purposeful parents as a companion to the community of deliberate mothers that April and I built for quite some time now and the timing finally felt right.

I've got a new podcast called Power of Families Radio, send out a weekly newsletter and offer lots of free resources plus some paid programs. We've got about 70,000 parents who are members of Power of Families and it's feeling manageable and meaningful for the most part.

Looking back, I realize now that I let Power of Moms control way too much of my life for the 10 years that I was running it.  I held myself to impossibly high standards and got a LOT done but at a pretty steep cost. I really really wanted to help every mom and family that I could possibly help and spent pretty much every moment when my kids didn't need me and when I wasn't sleeping on Power of Moms stuff - and while I was always telling moms that they needed down time and didn't need to feel guilty about relaxing and taking time for themselves, I used every bit of time I ever had to myself to write articles and make podcast episodes and create programs to help families. I didn't watch TV. I didn't read. I did exercise regularly and protect my sleep but I totally forgot how to relax and have fun. And that wasn't good for me or my family.

I've learned to cut myself a lot more slack and be less intense and perfectionistic with Power of Families than I was with Power of Moms. If I get busy with something else and don't write a newsletter one week or skip doing my usual weekly podcast episode, I'm not stressed about it (and no one else seems to mind one bit).

I have a long ways to go when it comes to re-learning how to have fun and relax, but I think I'm in a much better place than I was a year ago in a lot of ways. It's not just Power of Families. I'm working on letting go of a lot of things that have been causing me to feel like I'm pretty much always a clenched fist. While I had so many little children and so many responsibliities outside my home, routines and schedules were vital to my sanity and focused, effective work filling every possible moment felt vital, I've realized it just doesn't work to live life like that forever. I'm learning to let things slide sometimes, to let myself go with the flow more, to be less deliberate and purposeful and just enjoy the moment from time to time.

I do a long hard hike with a friend every week and love the conversations and fresh air and exercise (we go in the early mornings to avoid the heat of the summer, we strap cleats on our shoes to hike over the ice in the winter - we've been going every week for about 5 years now).

I have some good times with Oliver and Silas every other day as they are doing 50% homeschool (I'll write more about that later). I just didn't feel like I was getting enough time with them and they are so fun to teach so I set up this arrangement with their school and they are taking some really great classes with the best teachers at their school on A days then they are home with me on B days and we do history, reading, writing, and lots of interesting projects together. They were wanting to do something different and 8th grade seemed like the right time to switch things up before they are in high school next year and grades count towards college admission and everything gets more complicated.

Our kitchen is being remodeled and it is taking WAY longer than expected and costing a lot more than expected. So there's a lot of stress there. But I'll save that for another post.

I'll write more later. Got to go eat the pizza Jared just brought home since our kitchen isn't functional right now and I've learned to let go of my the idea that I will make a homemade healthy dinner every night like I've generally done so religiously for so long.

9 comments:

5starbudget said...

Welcome back. Have missed your posts.

Eileen said...

So happy to see your post. I've enjoyed reading your blog and look forward to reading more.

emuirbrook said...

I, too, have missed you here in the blogosphere!

Barb said...

Welcome back! I love hearing how the season of life change for others, I feel that way, too. Re-evaluating, re-examining, re-formatting feels normal and natural but also can feel anxious and scary. Thanks for sharing.

anna said...

Good for you, Saren! I know this is an important shift for you. Glad to see you are building in some margins (remember that article?). I have missed working with you at Power of Moms but I am glad you can finally focus on Power of Families. Thanks for your post.

Proudcountryclothing said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Julie said...

Welcome back. I've missed your blog.

Allison said...

I've always loved your blog, and have learned from your viewpoints and experiences. About 5 years ago, when my oldest was a baby and I was struggling being a new mom, I would listen to your and April's Power of Moms podcast episodes and it helped me SO much! Thanks for sharing!

Jenny (also) said...

Welcome back! Sounds like you've made some amazing changes.

I'd love to learn more about your 50/50 homeschooling! I have a 7th grader who is not being challenged enough at school, I think the reading writing teaching is especially lacking. I work for pay full time and am trying to think of how I can supplement his education in a more formal way while still working. Right now I recommend books to him, he reads some of them, and then we discuss but it's all VERY informal.

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