Post-Christmas in Ashton

I'll finish my post on Christmas soon but there are still quite a few photos to edit for that one and I like to blog about the day it actually is as much as possible.

Today we're in Ashton, Idaho at the farm with a bunch of Jared's family. We got up here yesterday and have been talking, playing games (the big hit of the season has been Reverse Charades - the teenagers were begging to play it pretty much all day every day and everyone laughed harder than they have in a long time), playing in the snow, laughing, opening more presents and eating non-stop since we got here. As always, this is a very fun and relaxing place to be - no big plans, lots of unstructured time, Jared's mom making great meals with everyone else pitching in to help, kids laughing and playing, plenty to do but nothing really required.

There's not a lot of snow but enough for kind big cousin Mark to
take kids on countless sleigh rides towed by a 4-wheeler

As the sun just started to dip in the sky, I went for a nice solitary walk. I fell in love with the beauty of this place all over again and felt so full of joy and life as I walked along in that crisp air surrounded by such splendor. I love the subtle and somewhat bleak beauty of winter here at the farm. I love how the weeds along the road become such lovely shades of gold and auburn. I love the angles of the tilted fence posts and how they add dimension and focal points to the scene. I love the clean white of the snow and the changing colors of the vast clear sky.

This is some of the Loosli farm buildings from down the road.

Beauty. I'm so grateful for beauty. And relaxation. And games and laughter. And conversation. And family.

Our Christmas Card

(click on the photo to enlarge)

As pictures typically capture the good times and happy faces, it was a great exercise in gratitude to go through photos and create our traditional annual Christmas card collage. Sure, we've had plenty of hard times (involving far more hard work and stress than is probably healthy - a big resolution for 2012 is to slow things down...) but I'm struck by the beauty we've experienced, the great people and places we've enjoyed, how cute the kids are, and how many fun and wonderful adventures we've had.  All in all, the good stuff in 2011 has far outweighed the not-so-good stuff.

Here's an overview of the year (mostly represented in the photo collage above):

• HOME: We've lived here for just over a year now and this is really feeling like home. The kids finally settled on a name for our beautiful old house - Ida Mimzy.  Ida is my great grandmother's name and was one of the top names in the 1880's when this house was built. And Mimzy - the kids came up with it and I think it adds a little whimsy to the whole thing. We've done plenty of projects to get Ida whipped into shape and she sure has her quirks but we love our house and neighborhood dearly.  
• SCHOOL: We've had our scholastic challenges this year as the kids have gradually adjusted to a good school that makes them tow the line academically and encourages some stretching that is uncomfortable for some of the kids. Eliza begs for extra homework and projects, Isaac bemoans the hours he has to put into homework but faithfully plows through, Ashton has a hard time remembering that he has homework at all which presents some problems, and the twins whip through everything easily and are reading up a storm. So if you average out how everyone's doing academically, I guess we're at a nice level "fine" when it comes to school.
• SNOW: Having spent 6 years in the Bay Area and then 6 years in St George, snow is a pretty new thing for our kids. And last winter it kept snowing through April!  The kids built countless snowmen, became fearless sledders, and impressed us with how quickly they took to the ski slopes. This year we've been low on snow and we're all crossing our fingers for at least some Christmas flurries. 
• SPRING BREAK ROAD TRIP: Our spring break trip this year involved great adventures and loads of family bonding time in the car (so grateful for audio books and kids who are old enough to be pretty civilized during car trips). We went to visit my brother Jonah and family on the Olympic peninsula and had a great time exploring Seattle, hiking in the lush rain forests of the Olympia National Park, visiting a beautiful old lighthouse on the Canadian border, hanging out with the Eyres' many cool farm animals, and relaxing with some of our favorite people. Then we drove down the coast and spent a few days in our beloved San Francisco with my sister Charity and Jared's sister Kathryn and family. We went up and down the roller coaster hills of San Fran, basked in the diversity and excitement of the city (the kids were especially impressed with the street performers and naked bike riders we saw), enjoyed a wonderful Easter at the Pritchett house and loved visiting our old house and ward (congregation) in San Jose.
• HIKING AND BIKING: After enjoying 6 years of beautiful red rock biking and hiking in St George, we were sad to leave that behind when we moved here. But we've loved exploring great new hikes and bike rides in the mountains five minutes from our new home and we've been back to many of our old favorite hikes in St George this past year. The beauty, fresh air, bonding and exercise involved in hiking and biking has proven to be an important part of this family's well-being.
• ASHTON, IDAHO (a.k.a. "the farm"): We've loved living nearer to Jared's mom and brother and the farm where Jared grew up. Some highlights at the farm this year included helping out with the annual Bull Sale, feeding cows, seeing the newborn calves, snowmobiling and sledding, jumping on the trampoline, riding around on huge tractors and combines, helping with the potato harvest, riding in the 4th of July parade, and enjoying time with scores of wonderful relatives. 
• BEAR LAKE: As usual, we spent most of July at Bear Lake with most of the Eyre family. The kids enjoyed countless hours in the sun, water and sand with beloved cousins while the adults basked in great conversation, reading, games, beautiful scenery and togetherness. My sisters and I cooked and talked up a storm (we recorded a new series of Deliberate Mothering podcasts to capture some of our best conversations) and our husbands came up on weekends when they could. Isaac and Ashton became quite good water skiers and wake boarders, Eliza overcame her fears and got up on skis a couple times, and the twins drank a fair amount of the lake in their waterski attempts without exactly finding success. They were successful, however, in somehow starting an old tractor and taking their little cousin for a joy ride that miraculously did NOT result in any damage to people or property! Jared and I did our traditional 50-mile bike ride around Bear Lake for my birthday and I tried to learn to like running up and down the hilly road by the lake as I trained for the Grand Teton Relay. 
• GRAND TETON RELAY: Jared and I whipped ourselves into shape so that we could spend 36 hours running and resting and laughing and covering 185 miles of beautiful terrain with 10 other Loosli family members on our relay team. It was gorgeous and grueling and amazingly fun. I was slow but steady. Jared was fast and strong. We're doing it again next year.
• WORK: After relocating here a year ago for what seemed like a wonderful job for Jared, that job quickly went south. Jared had to jump off the sinking ship in March and he's been working full time on several exciting projects since then (which is great except that none of those projects are exactly lucrative quite yet). He's been able to combine his trucking and engineering knowledge to work on a very promising trucking-related product that will hopefully go to market in the near future. And it's been a huge blessing to have his help with The Power of Moms as we went through a total website redesign and added many new programs. He's helped make the website beautiful and functional and helped us reach our current audience of over 100,000 moms. We now have 100's of moms using our Mind Organization for Moms program and running Learning Circles in their own communities plus we held seven professional development Retreats for moms across the country during 2011. I've loved working with so many devoted, selfless, bright and wonderful women (especially my amazing partner, April) and I couldn't have done any of this without Jared's very active help and support. Jared and I are also still running our little preschool curriculum company, The Joy School Company, and enjoy working with the great ladies who run preschools using my parents' Joy School curriculum. 
• CHURCH: We love the diversity of the good people in our church congregation. Jared works with the missionaries and I'm the Bear Scout den leader. We're so grateful for the chance to gather each Sunday to think about and talk about how we can become the people we're meant to be through the example and Atonement of Jesus Christ.

We hope that 2012 will bring us all great adventures, beauty, contributions, fun, love, joy and growth (without too much pain if possible!). We wish you a Merry Christmas and a happy New Year.

Much love,

The Loosli Family

Babysitting gift that proved to be a gift to ME

So Ashton and Isaac have become babysitters this past year and Eliza has become a great mother's helper to some families. They love love love little kids and have really loved being old enough to entertain other people's kids or babysit them. They've fallen in love with some of the little kids in our neighborhood through going to church with them or babysitting them and I don't know if there's anything that warms my heart more than seeing these big kids of mine tenderly interacting with their littlest friends.

Yesterday we decided to invite a bunch of the little kids they love over for an afternoon of stories and play and treats. Ashton, Isaac and Eliza were excited to have fun with all the kids and provide some free babysitting service for the kids' parents at the same time. One mom just had a c-section on her 5th child and has had lots of complications and one mom is pregnant with her 4th and her oldest is only 4. We figured those parents could use a break!

We had a beautiful afternoon of playing and stories and songs and treats. I was so proud of how great our kids were at entertaining and taking great care of all their little friends - even when there was crying and other little difficulties involved. I stood back for the most part and watched my kids take great care of everyone.

While the kids were here, I had a perfect Christmas moment. The youngest of the group, baby Ellie, had been fussing quite a bit and while Ashton and Isaac were doing a great job distracting her and keeping her pretty happy, I figured they were ready for a break and figured I was due for a baby-fix. I took her and sat down on the couch by the Christmas tree, rocking and shushing her. Her fussing quickly disappeared and her little body molded perfectly against me as her eyes drooped and she fell asleep, looking like a perfect angel in my arms. Isaac came and sat by me and we wondered at her tiny hands and sweet sleeping face and silky soft hair. Gradually other kids drifted into the room, quietly got books from our Christmas book basket and started reading to each other all around me. The scene was about as Christmas-perfect as it gets - a beautiful sleeping baby snuggled on my lap, my sweet kids all around me reading favorite Christmas books, all in the soft light of late afternoon enhanced by the Christmas tree lights.

I sat there in the calm and beauty of it all and remembered rocking my own babies and the rare times when they'd fall asleep in my arms. I looked at my big kids and marveled that they were once the same age and size of our cute little visitors. I had this wonderful moment when the past, present and future all seemed to be laid out before my eyes - I could see what my children were, what they are now, and what I hope they will become one day - helpful, strong, happy people who will be great parents and who'll love to serve and give.

Our approach to Christmas presents

We've realized over the years that we really don't need to buy much for our kids in order for them to have what feels like a very abundant Christmas. They get a present from Grandma, one from Grammie and Grandfather, one from one of their Loosli cousins (the cousins all draw names), and a small gift from each other (often a dollar store gift but this year, the older kids have more money and have decided to give nicer gifts). Plus of course, they get a gift from Santa (we explain that Santa has a LOT of kids to give gifts to and many of those kids don't have other people giving them gifts so it's nice to request a pretty modest gift worth about $50 or less from Santa to enable him to have enough time and materials to make higher quality and quantity toys for kids who need them more - and they've been great about embracing this philosophy).  So that's 8 presents they get each year without us giving them anything at all.

I used to do the tradition a lot of families do and get the kids "something to wear, something they need, something they want, something to read." Plus I'd end up buying several games or group gifts for all the kids. That was adding up to way too many presents. As we like to open the presents one at a time on Christmas and play with each thing for a while before opening the next round of presents, we found that each year, we were running out of time to open everything on Christmas. It was just too much and we felt rushed to get to everything. Plus I found that the effort involved in wrapping up clothes and other basic needs was just silly. My boys didn't view clothes or underwear or socks as a special gift no matter how beautifully they were wrapped and Eliza didn't care much either. So I gave up on wrapping up things that they needed and that I was going to buy them anyway as we had too much to unwrap as it was.

So now we get the kids new winter Sunday clothes and give them to them (unwrapped) to wear on the first Sunday of December (plus we do Christmas photos that day usually - not my kids' favorite thing but it the photos are worth it...). I buy them new pj's that I do wrap and that they're excited to open as the one gift they can open on Christmas Eve night. We usually get a fun new family game and of course we help Santa with the special toy each child requests from him and stocking simple stocking stuffers.  For the past few years, both our budget and our time and what feels right has limited us to these things and it's worked out great.

This year, we've added one more thing to give our kids - a Family Activity Jar.  I got this idea from my friend Becky. Last night for Family Night, we brainstormed all the activities that would be fun to do together as a family during this upcoming year - sledding, bowling, ice skating, swimming, arcade games, game night, camping, hiking, bike rides, all sorts of possibilities. Then each child wrote down one activity they'd most love to do as a family on a slip of paper. We each read what was on our slips of paper and came up with a new choice in the case of a repeat. We all folded up our slips of paper and put them in a jar then decided on a few extra activities we were all excited about that hadn't made the jar. In all, we put 10 activities in the jar. Our gift to our kids for this year is that we'll draw out one activity from the jar at the beginning of each month and put that activity on the calendar for that month (of course, if we draw "camping" in January, we'll put it back for another month and draw something else).  We only did 10 activities because we've already got several major family activities we do in December and we're always at Bear Lake for July.

The kids were SO excited about this gift that will keep on giving all year long and give them the chance to do a lot of activities they love but that we often don't make time for. It's nice that the expenses involved in these activities will be spread out over the course of the year and we can find coupons and save up to make everything quite affordable - plus they picked stuff that was pretty cheap or free - hiking, picnic in a park, bike ride...

So the Family Activity Jar is a hit and I think it'll be something we do every year.

"Above all else, mothers, tell the little ones stories at Christmas..."

We often think that an over-scheduled holiday season that veers away from the true meaning of Christmas are a modern-day problem and think longingly of the "olden days" when Christmas was more about peace and love. But apparently over a hundred years ago, moms had the same nostalgia for a simpler time and struggled with some of of the same busyness and worry over the focus on toys and treats during the holidays that we worry about today.

A couple days ago, my sister-in-law emailed me this great quote by Emmaline B. Wells, a writer, champion of women's suffrage and early Mormon church leader. This quote is from the December 1901 edition of the Young Woman's Journal.

"The olden times were the days of comparative seclusion from the outside world, and we had to depend mainly upon our own resources for amusement...In those far-off days, however, the children were as much on tip-toe with expectancy as in the present day when Santa Claus time comes round. Then we had to tell them stories to make up for the things we lacked. Now there is so much to occupy the time that mothers have no moment to spare, evidently, to tell them stories at all. They depend on church and the kindergarten teachers to do all this for them while they, the dear blessed mothers, lose all the sweetest hours life can bring. To sit at evening round the fire and listen to the children's prattle and sing them the old-fashioned carols and tell them over and over the stories they long to hear, makes one forget care and trouble, and draws the mother and children closer together with ties inseparable that can never be wholly broken apart. The mother, who denies herself this privilege for the sake of some outside engagement, or even to do extra household work, is doing herself as well as the children an injustice....

"Children do not have too much love not even at Christmas, no, not that, but they very often have too many toys and sweetmeats. How many children there are in the world who long, more earnestly, for real love than they do for aught else. There is no comfort or luxury that will supply its place even in the heart of a little child. There is more happiness because of love than from any other gift...

"Above all else, mothers, tell the little ones stories at Christmas..."

This quote grabbed my attention big time. I know that my children need to feel my love in extra abundance at Christmas and I really think Emmaline got it right when she suggested stories and cozy snuggling as a great vehicle for expressing and teaching about love.

One of my favorite Christmas traditions has always been reading stories by the Christmas tree. I've got a great collection of Christmas books that we build by getting a new one each year. Most years, we've fit in a Christmas story before bed pretty much every night in December. But after reading Emmaline's words, I realized that this year I've been letting outside engagements rob me of some of the "sweetest hours life can bring."

So I decided to prioritize time to "sit at evening by the fire (and the Christmas tree all lit up) and listen to the children's prattle and sing them the old-fashioned carols and tell them the stories they long to hear."

The last couple nights, despite Christmas concerts and basketball practice and homework and a myriad of other things pulling us all in different directions, we have made time to snuggle on the couch and read Christmas stories by the Christmas tree. We got to bed a little late one night. And another night, we opted out of an engagement I realized really wasn't that important in order to protect story time. But really, once I made story time a priority, I realized it doesn't really take that long and it's worth the small sacrifices it may require.

Story time and the love and lessons we can emphasize and re-emphasize through story and song truly does "draw the mother and children closer together with ties inseparable that can never be wholly broken apart." My undivided attention and my stories - as well as the love wrapped up in them - will ultimately mean so much more than any other activity or material gift I can offer my dear children at Christmas.

I guess some things (like busyness and the incidence of conflicting priorities) never change - even when you look back 100 years. And some things (like letting the busyness rob us of what is most precious and allowing our priorities to get out whack) must be changed. We CAN protect time for real connections and love at Christmas. We really can.

Thanks, Emmaline. I really needed your message.

P.S. I've got all my favorite Christmas books listed in the Power of Moms Amazon Store. Check them out if you'd like. And it would be really great if you'd do all your Amazon shopping by starting at our store because a percentage of everything you buy once you've clicked through from our store (whether it's on our list or not) goes to support The Power of Moms website (a pretty great cause if I do say so myself).

Christmas Gifts to YOU

To enjoy the podcast series I recorded last summer with my mom and sisters as well as a great 1-hour webinar on boundaries and margins by me and April, just click on the link below. And feel free to share the link with all the moms you know. We'd love to give these programs (regularly $20) to all moms for Christmas this year.

Your Christmas Gifts

Least Favorite Things about Motherhood

While it's great to remember and dwell on all the sparkling moments and beauty and meaning that motherhood brings to our lives (like I did with my last post), I think there's also a place for remembering the day-to-day stuff that's not so fun but is still a part of the big picture of motherhood, the stuff that teaches me patience and helps me grow (if it doesn't annoy the heck out of me first), the stuff I want other moms and my posterity to know I DID experience and DO understand.

So here's my list of current LEAST favorite things about motherhood (I was going to do 10 but when only 7 readily came to my mind, I thought I'd leave it at that...):

1. Mutually exclusive simultaneous emergency needs. At least once a day there is a time when everyone quite suddenly and very urgently seems to need something different from me at the same time. Those crisis moments aren't fun. If everyone could just take turns needing things, I'd be able to be a much better mom.

2. Interruptions. My kids interrupt me and each other constantly lately and it's driving me crazy. Plus everything I try to do gets interrupted again and again so I feel like I"m 1/2 doing 100's of things every day and never really finishing much. My sister shared a great quote with me about how interruptions show that we're needed and I love that way of thinking about them. But sometimes interruptions really get old.

3. Paper everywhere. Homework papers scattered across every flat surface in the house after school, newsletters and other papers from school being handed to me while I'm trying to drive, paper airplanes and paper snowflakes of 100 different lovely designs under chairs, on top of dressers, scattered about the floor. I do have a good system for managing all the papers that come at me but wow, with 5 elementary school students who aren't quite capable of managing their own papers, it's a LOT.  And I applaud the creativity involved in all the snowflakes and airplanes but having my house look like garbage is constantly strewn about gets old.

4. Being late and rushed and stressed. I always try to cram in too much and I'm not very realistic about how long things take. My kids have picked these unfortunate tendencies up from me. So we're always rushing at the last minute and it's not a happy time for any of us. I have been working hard on this one lately and it's getting a bit better. But it's so easy to slip back into old tendencies...

5. Repetition without results. Motherhood involves repeating a lot of pretty dull and mundane things again and again and again. I got used to that pretty quick when I became a mom and the rhythm of it all got comfortable after a while. But what really gets me is having to repeat what I say SO many times and finding that often, despite my best attempts to say the same thing in new and hopefully more effective ways while attempting to stay patient and loving, the result is often not commeasurate with my efforts. Over time, some of what I say and suggest and demonstrate DOES sink in and that's so gratifying. But it's so un-fun feeling like a broken record and seemingly being ignored.

6. Fear and worry. Mothering my young children involved a lot of moments of nearly heart-stopping fear as they would speed-crawl towards the stairs when they don't know how to get down the stairs safely, make a dash for a busy street, jump off a swing in mid-air, or disappear from your side at the grocery store.  But I'm finding that mothering older kids involves even more challenging fears and worries. When I see an email from a teacher of a class where my child's been having issues, I'm gripped with fear of what's happened now. When a child casually mentions he's been eating lunch alone and can't think of anyone to invite to a party, worry sets in. When a subject is so challenging for a child that it creates puddles of tears and the grades look bad, my heart aches and I fear for my child's academic future and worry about what how to turn things around. When children get into a bad rut and are mean to each other, I worry about their characters.

7. Trying to get kids to do things they don't want to do (like pose for photos). I totally get why it takes 100 or more shots to end up with one decent one of little kids. But my kids aren't so little anymore and I think it's reasonable to get a decent photo without too much difficulty. Yesterday I tried to take Christmas photos of the kids. I was so excited that I found cute matching clothes for them all at 1/2 price and thought our beautiful staircase would make the perfect backdrop. I gave them all a pep talk about how great it would be to have them cooperate and smile nicely and even offered a treat for when we were done. But standing still where you're asked to stand and smiling proved to be an overwhelming challenge for the kids. Eliza started crying because her ponytail was too tight and I wouldn't let her mess with it (and when she cries her face gets all splotchy - not great for pictures...). Oliver said the garland on the stairs was poking him even when he was inches away from it. Silas couldn't stand still to save his soul. Ashton thought it would be a good idea to sit down between takes because it's SO taxing to stand up for a few minutes. Isaac kept bugging Ashton. And when we finally got people situated and bribed and cajoled into being still and smiling nicely, the battery on my camera gave out so everyone had to wait while I charged the thing a bit.  Then when I was pretty sure I had some decent takes, I found that the lighting was bad, I'd inadvertently had the flash on creating red-eye in some of the better takes, and Ashton looked weird in every single picture. Here's what I got (check out Ashton - I told him I'd share these on my blog - serves him right!):

Here's the best option. And you know what? If you didn't know the story behind the photo, I bet you'd think it was a pretty darn good photo of some pretty darn cute kids (and one somewhat surly pre-teen...).

I just have to end by saying that while every mom could readily make a sizeable list of the stuff that's downright hard about motherhood, the hard stuff generally makes the good stuff sweeter. Hard and good come hand in hand. I'll keep this hard stuff (and keep working on the stuff I know I can change with more effort) because it comes part and parcel with the good stuff that I wouldn't trade for the world.

Favorite Things About Motherhood

This morning I woke up to hugs and "I love you's."

In the dim morning light of a cold morning, the two sweetest little boys in the world quietly climbed into my bed as I was waking up, snuggling up on either side of me, patting my cheeks and pulling my arms around them as Oliver said "Mommy, I love you SO much" and Silas sang me the song he sings me several times a day "Mom, I love you so, so much. I will never stop loving you."

This is the stuff joyful motherhood is made of.

I held those little boys close and told them how grateful I am that I get to be their mom. I felt their course hair against my cheeks and their strong little hands grasping my hands. We were silent a minute together and my heart was full and ready to burst.

Motherhood is a lot of hard stuff.  And some days (like day before yesterday) involve one crazy and frustrating thing after another as mutually exclusive needs of all the kids and the mom and the dad pile upon each other.

But motherhood is also a lot of good stuff. And some golden moments count way more than all the hard stuff.

At our last Learning Circle meeting where we talked about what we love about motherhood, we left with the assignment to make a list of the top ten things we love about motherhood. It's been interesting and wonderful to see everyone's lists (we're emailing our lists to the whole group). I put off making my own list - there always seemed to be something more pressing to do. But I finally got it done and it was a great exercise that helped me see things in a different light.

Here's my top 10 list of what I love about motherhood right now.

1. Knowing I really matter to 5 wonderful little people who each show their love for me in different ways. Getting hugs and "I love you's" every day. Having Silas sing me the "I love you" song he made up about 12 times a day (even though his siblings get bugged with him for singing it so much). Having Eliza tell me I'm the best mom ever when I tuck her in. Having Oliver tell me how much he missed me when I see him after school. Having Isaac lean his head on my shoulder and snuggle up to me in church or while we watch a movie. Having Ashton tell me stuff he's excited about and show me how to do things on the computer.
2. Telling stories and watching my kids' great facial expressions of awe or excitement or empathy as the story unfolds.
3. Learning things together - reading books, visiting new places, looking up answers to questions we have on Wikipedia or YouTube and getting sucked into learning about everything from how baby carrots are made to what a "concentration camp" was to what make lightbulbs work.
4. Tucking them in before I go to bed each night - seeing them sleeping all skeewampus but still looking like angels, straightening them out a bit and tucking them under the covers, kissing their soft cheeks.
5. Watching them be kind to others (especially great when they're being kind to each other).
6. Snuggling with the kids on family movie night every week. 
7. Holding my babies in my arms for the first time was always a huge highlight - and snuggling them now, remembering how small they used to be, makes me smile and feel the wonder of bearing children and seeing them grow.
8. Making food we all love and enjoying great food together - seeing them so excited about the food I make.
9. Helping my kids do something new and hard and seeing them figure it out and get excited about it - or seeing them master a new skill on their own and sharing in their joy about it.
10. Enjoying the wonder and excitement of the world with kids who are experts in wonder and excitement. Exploring new places together with my kids - hiking, biking, visiting new cities. I love sharing adventures with my kids and getting excited about things together.

Children for Children Concert

What a night we had on Monday night!

Over 150 people showed up at the beautiful old church that our friends down the street are converting into a community center. It was the ideal location - big enough that we could tell all our friends and relatives to invite all their friends and relatives and just a lovely setting that my kids were so excited about. I was really touched to see how many people showed up and how many cute kids got up in front of everyone to share their talents and how much money we were able to raise to help the orphans in Bulgaria.

Ashton did a wonderful job as the Master of Ceremonies and Nativity Play Narrator. Isaac was great at greeting people and was an excellent Joseph in the play. Eliza kept all the little angels in line and did a great job delivering her "head angel" lines. The twins were great innkeepers and shepherds. And they were all over the moon about the whole thing. Even though there's more work and stress involved in "leading from behind" and having the kids run the concert this year, there was nothing like seeing the sense of ownership, accomplishment, pride and joy that they all felt on Monday night. The kids worked hard to come up with the list of everything that needed to be done before and during the concert and divided up responsibilities, giving me a list of things they needed me to do.  Ashton set up a Facebook Event page, made invitations to pass out, responded to all texts and emails and phone calls about the event, etc. They were all excited to have important roles.

Here are some great shots of the concert thanks to my great photographer-friend Rebecca Malouf:

We started off with a video about the orphans who would be benefiting from the concert.

Then we had lots of wonderful kids' performances.

This quartet sang beautifully!

These little tiny boys melted hearts with their rendition of "I am a Child of God"

This little girl sang like an angel

The grand finale was a little Nativity Play that about 40 kids participated in:

Everyone put a donation in the amount of their choice into this box.

Some kids gave the pennies and nickels an dollar bills they'd been saving all year
(We did a LOT of counting of change after school yesterday! The kids had fun with it.)  

The setting couldn't have been more perfect -
thanks Chris and Paige and Sprout Utah for providing this perfect place!

And after the concert, wow, I wish everyone could see the excitement here at our house as the kids counted out the money that was donated. $1600! A new record! Plus that money will be matched by the Eyrealm Foundation so we'll actually be able to give $3200 to support TWO orphanages in Bulgaria this year.

Here's the 3-minute video we showed at the beginning of the concert (photos I took when I was in the orphanages in Bulgaria a few years ago - I went on a mission there and have been involved in One Heart Bulgaria for years, trying to continue the work I started in orphanages 20 years ago). It's a nice thing to watch with your kids if you want.  I can't watch it without tearing up. I wish I could do more for those sweet children!

(If you want to join in, you can show your kids the photos and video above and donate money online by clicking HERE and including "children for children" in the notes section as you make your payment in PayPal. This way, your donation can be part of our overall donation and can be matched by the Eyrealm Foundation.) 

Moments happen when I get out of the way

This is tomorrow's post for our Desert News Motherhood Matters blog - thought I might as well share it here as well so I can easily read over it and I hopefully won't have to keep learning this lesson again and again!

  

You can't force a moment. I know this but sometimes I still try.

Yesterday there were lots of not-so-good moments. The kids were cranky and needy and I worked hard all day but didn't feel like I got much done. We were late to everything because of domino effects of dumb little things that kept happening - misplaced shoes and homework, spending way too long trying to find poster board at Target, the cashier at the shoe store giving me a hard time about exchanging shoes I bought for my son last week that had already fallen apart, one thing after another. I ended up snapping at the kids quite a bit and not feeling like the mom I want to be at all.

But this day could be saved! I helped the kids hurry along with homework and dishes with the promise of Christmas decorating accompanied by Christmas music, a treat, and a nice story time by the fire using the favorite Christmas books we'd pull out of the Christmas boxes. I'd pull out each decoration and tell the story of where it came from and what it meant to our family. They'd all be enthralled and excited to follow directions about where each thing should go. I was sure we were in for some beautiful moments to end the day on a lovely note.

As I helped one child get ready for basketball, another one started pulling out all the tree ornaments when we don't have a tree yet and while I was trying to explain to him why that stuff needed to be left alone for now, another child was ready for a special moment with me - he wanted to show me each favorite books as he pulled them out of a box like they were long-lost friends. Then there was another child saying "be quiet" and making snappish and callous comments as he tried to do the last of his homework while one of his little brothers wanted to show him some exciting stuff (darn, I heard myself in a few of those snappish comments!). As soon as I started paying attention to one child, someone else was needing me. Meanwhile decorations were ending up pulled out and put in random places all over and the control-freak in me was feeling pretty threatened! The moments I had in mind weren't happening - at all.

I dropped the whole decorating idea and just plopped down on the couch, feeling defeated. Quickly, I was joined by my 6-year-old twins, books in hand, geam in their eyes. They snuggled up on either side of me and placed a book on my lap. The older kids came and sat down too. I'd told them we'd just read one book as it was getting a bit late but we read four books. We just couldn't stop. The kids were creating the beautiful moments I'd craved with their snuggling and cute comments, memories and ideas as we read.

So last night, I learned (yet again) that the best moments are not planned by the mom. The best moments happen when the mom relaxes and let's the kids bring the moments to her. So much of the joy of moments is stamped out when we get too attached to our own visions of particular joyful moments we're trying to create.

Just be there. Just listen. Just sit there. Just smile.