Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Unkind Anonymous Comments

To those few people out there who have left less-than-kind anonymous comments on my blog from time to time, I ask, what is your point?  You know that I will delete them before many people will see them so obviously what you write is meant just for me.  So if you'd like to offer constructive criticism in a kind way, please go ahead and do so but just email me directly at saren(at)powerofmoms(dot)com.

I've talked to other bloggers and apparently this anonymous-unkind-comment thing is all too common. I don't get it. We all see things on blogs sometimes that may not resonate with us and may not be that helpful to us and may even offend or bother us, but can't we be nicer with our criticism or simply leave it alone?  Why be mean to bloggers who are obviously trying to help through their blogs?  And if we are ashamed to put our name to what we've written, shouldn't we realize maybe we shouldn't be posting it at all?

If you don't appreciate what is offered on my blog or at Power of Moms, you are most welcome to NOT visit these sites.
  • If the "silver lining" attitude I muster up when things are hard in my life is bothersome to you, that's too bad.  It's very therapeutic to me to work through my hard stuff by writing and find the positive - and I've had many emails from people saying those posts really helped them.  
  • If my sharing of happiness and successes feels like bragging, I'm sorry.  I need to record the good stuff because,  believe me, there's plenty of really really hard stuff that I don't share on this blog because it's either too personal or involves other people whose confidentiality I respect.  It really helps me to counteract the hard stuff with the celebration of the positive so I can keep my head up. 
  • If you don't want to hear about free webinars or books by my parents or offer great resources and ideas to help your family offered by Power of Moms, skip over posts that address those things or don't come to my blog.  I'm going to keep sharing resources that I've seen make a big difference in my life and in the lives of countless other families.  
This is my personal and family journal and I've made it public because it seems to be helpful and interesting to a lot of other people.  But mostly, I write this blog because I need the therapy it provides me and because I want to remember for myself and for my posterity what mothering is like for me, what I'm learning, and what experiences we're having as a family.  I want my daughter and future daughters-in-law to be able to read about the things I've figured out through trial and error and maybe it will be enriching to their lives as mothers one day.

If you find what I write to be useful in your own life as a mother and want to add your voice to meaningful conversations about what works and what matters through your comments, that is wonderful and I'm so glad to have you here.  But throwing out biting anonymous comments is just not cool.  So please stop.

22 comments:

lacy said...

Oh, Saren. I'm sorry to hear that people are being unkind. I, for one, will be forever grateful to you for sharing your wisdom, links to important parenting helps, and just your own experiences. Please don't stop trying to help the people like me, who need you so much. Thank you for everything you do. Thank you so much.

Miken Harding said...

Saren,
That's horrible. They are sound like they are bitter and mad at their situations and just want to drag you down. I love all your words of encouragement and you have changed my life FOREVER! We all have our different trials in life and we all have to face our own demons. I love your blog! My only suggestions if that you'd post more cute pictures of your kiddos!:)
Miken

kara jayne said...

this post makes me want to comment MORE about how much you and your blog enrich and inspire me and my life. keep it up saren. you are one of the people i look up to and admire the most.

Katie said...

Saren,
I am one who just wants to say thank you for sharing your life with so many people and your insights to motherhood and your experiences.

jo said...

Deer Saren, i hope you dont mind me writeing to you.
my name is jo and i live in the uk. I have five kids too but defo not in five yeers. 28, 27, 24, 13 and 4. I had an accident five yeers ago and suffer a traumatic brain injury. this means i am spastic on my left side and i have problem with short term memory and as you will notice my spell and grammar.I joined the lds church last december and my 14 year old daughter in april. i have written to you sister before and i love her blog too.
I love the internet and indeed it is a life line for me as i do not get to go out very mutch as i cant go alone. the other side of the internet is that people write things that they wood not say if they were standing in front of you. These 'anonymous' people feel that they somehow have a right to say what they like as you 'put yourself out there'. I do not know what these people write to you but i have seen some pretty unreasonable and harsh things written to other people. also i get the impression that peeple think because you blog mainly your highlights that you have no downs. you just dont choose to blog when someone has shut a siblings finger in the door, or when you shout cos they are all misbehaving etc. in truth we are most of us at home just 'washing the dishes' and being the best mums we know how to be and part of that is learning form others. We learn from eatch other by spending time with each other, reading, listening to talks and taking on board others successes and failures. I have pre ordered a copy of your parents latest book about entitlement and am very mutch looking forward to reading it.
i will continue to reed your blog and those of others eatch day.
lots of love
jo xxx

emily ballard said...

It's not like you were calling them on the phone or knocking on their door to share your thoughts with them. This is YOUR blog and THEY came to read it. I hope you know how many people DO appreciate and enjoy your blog. Which is lucky for me because otherwise I never would have met you!

Barb @ getupandplay said...

I don't get the "trolls" on blogs, either. It's like people think that anything goes on the internet. Just move on, grumpies, there's no need to share your poison.

Sleepless In St. George said...

I comment with this thought in mind "If I wouldn't say it to the persons face then I shouldn't say it on their blog". With that in mind...Saren you are a great mom. I think people have a hard believing that there is a mom as busy/amazing/child focused/fun as you. Keep doing what you're doing!

Jessica Newby said...

Misery like company. They want company.

I enjoy your blog & admire you & your family. Thank you!

Felicity said...

Saren I too love your blog and love everything you and April do with Power of Moms!! It's so sad that people feel the need to be hurtful with their words, Especially to someone who dedicates so much of their time to helping others.

Love Felicity xo

Bindi said...

Your blog is inspirational and I love to check in every couple of days. It motivates me to be a better mother. Have you considered changing your settings on Blogger so that you don't allow anonymous comments? People aren't always so brave when they can't hide.

linda said...

Sorry to hear that! I've recently discovered your blog & have already linked to it from my blog! : ) You're an inspiration...keep up the amazing work you're doing.

Rebecca said...

Boo to those spineless, mean commenters! Thanks for sharing so much. I think it takes a lot of courage to share and contribute like you do. I remember when I was at Utah State I participated in a live teleconference in which President George Bush (Sr.) and Collin Powell were speaking. Somehow my phone call made it through and I got to ask President Bush a live question! I asked him how he managed to stay positive and focused while getting criticism from all angles. I had just received a nasty letter in my student government mailbox from someone saying all sorts of mean things to me because a word was misspelled on a banner that one of my committees had hung at the student center! However meritless the criticism was, it still stung. Anyway, President Bush said, "That is an excellent question!" And that's all I remember! But just remember you are in good company when getting criticism...those who don't get criticized probably aren't doing much to contribute.

So glad to know you in person and through your blog!:)

Cath said...

Saren - way to be a voice! I always appreciate your efforts and thoughts. This little diddy my Dad sang to me as a kid is ringing through my head right now: "If you can't say something nice... don't talk at all is my advice!" Really. Thanks for blogging my friend! xo

Linds said...

I wholeheartedly agree! If you don't like it...don't read it. It's amazing how people can behave online.

Georgina Close said...

I love you blogs and your parents books have taught me soooo much. I actually got to meet them when we were in the states last year and i am still excited (tried to stand really close to your Mum hoping she would rub off on me)
Thanks for all you do I LOVE your POM site and articles.
XX Georgina XX

Anonymous said...

Saren-
It makes me sad that people would be so mean and rude to you and other bloggers. Please see it as their insecurity and unhappiness in who they are that they must lash out at others. You are a wonderful wife, mother, daughter, sister, etc. You give so much to others by sharing your life and the things you've learned along the way have definitely helped so many. Mean and rude people, although hurtful, give us the opportunity to show grace, mercy, patience and love. Don't let em' get you down & keep on blogging.......we love it!

Jen H. said...

I love your blog, Saren! Even though I rarely comment. I have often benefitted from your silver-lining attitude; you are an inspiration to me. I know it's hard to ignore the anonymous negativity, but thanks for not giving up.

Sue said...

Saren,
Even though I already had my first child when I started reading your parents' books I feel like I've "grown up" with your family. I first heard of all of you on Oprah many years ago. I wasn't a member of the church yet and I was so clueless. Now I have 9 children, am a member and have a son serving a mission is Santiago,
Chile. I will always be grateful for what your family has done for my family. Please keep being open and honest for us!

Joilene said...

I don't know you, but really enjoy reading your blog. Your blog and parent's blog have made a huge difference in my life and my family's. With 4 kids, I felt like I was so overrun, but not making any progress in my personal develoment and in my children's development. In the last 4 weeks that I have discovered these blogs, I have made big changes in the way our family operates. I have implemented almost all the family processes (summer goals, 5 one word rules, banking system, etc) that have been recommended by your parents and you. I feel that you and your family have personally changed my life for the better and the crazy thing is that I don't even know you. I hope I can attend one of your conferences soon. I live in the San Francisco Bay Area.

Tara said...

Don't even worry about it, I guess there are just some mean people who aren't interested in growing. You are awesome, The Power of Mom's is Awesome and you have made the biggest difference in my mothering career, well your whole family has. Thanks to the Eyre's for helping me me grow as a mom and being a deliberate mom! Love you all!

April Perry said...

Saren, your direct way of addressing those comments made me smile. It's fortunate that you have tough skin. Sorry about the hassle you've been getting. It comes with the territory, I guess. Love you.

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