Tuesday, April 08, 2014

What lies beneath...

Sometimes being a mom is really hard. Like really REALLY hurt-your-heart, wonder-if-you've failed kind of hard.

I won't go into details but I just feel like I should say that even thought I run a website called "Power of Moms" and I blog about lots of great stuff going on in our family, I sure don't have all the answers. In fact, sometimes I feel like a total fraud writing articles about motherhood and putting on conferences about motherhood when I so clearly know SO little in the grand scheme of things.

But you know what? I'm trying. When things are hard, I think hard and pray hard and talk with my husband a lot and talk to the kids a lot and try new things and fail and try again.

I celebrate the things that are good a lot on this blog. I post photos and pictures of my kids' accomplishments and our fun family adventures and the things I've figured out that work pretty well in motherhood. Sometimes I post about really hard days I've had and stuff I'm struggling with. But a lot of the hard stuff isn't really stuff that would be good to share here. Some things need to be private.

And the more I talk with other moms, the more I realize that this is the norm. Every mom has hard stuff that most people can't see. We can look at just about any mom's life and think things look pretty darn nice. But under the surface, there are pretty much always heartaches and struggles - some huge, some medium, some small.

Just know that no matter how things may look to you, no one has a perfect life. As you struggle, know that you're not alone and that beneath the Sunday-best behavior and the smiling waves from other moms at school drop-off, there are hard things that most every mother is dealing with. It's not that other moms are trying to pretend that their lives are perfect. It's that they're often dealing with hard stuff that needs to be private for a variety of reasons so they're keeping it inside.

So let's all be gentle with each other. Let's assume the best of people while knowing they may be dealing with the worst. Let's realize that life is hard for everyone in different ways. And let's listen and love whenever we get the chance to really talk to another mom.
 

9 comments:

Brooke said...

This exact idea is what was one of the most valuable things I experienced at my first Power of Moms retreat. That we ALL have hard stuff, I'm not alone in that. I don't have to know what other people's hard stuff is to appreciate that they are fighting through it and be inspired by that to press forward through my own trials.

AMEN on being kinder and gentler with one another!

Rachelle said...

Beautifully said. xo

L3 said...

I know this will be appreciated by so many moms - even us older moms! You just never know.

Sarah said...

so true. thank you for sharing and for the reminder!

xnikkix said...

I am thankful for your honestly. I am grateful for my kids and I know that I am a good Mom, but i often look at other Moms and ask myself , man dhe did that better than you, can't you try harder? But not sure how much more i can squeeze out of myself.

Andrea said...

I don't leave comments, ever, but I have to say thank you for this post. I needed to hear it from both sides. . . Even though I know we aren't alone in struggle, it is nice to be reminded that we are all in this together. Thank you.

Andrea said...

So true that everyone has hard stuff at some point. I don't think it needs to be broadcast to everyone, but sometimes there's great healing and help in telling someone. I know I benefit from others sharing their hard things- helps me when I have something similar.

PS said...

Hi Saren. I really value these posts you make about how difficult life is sometimes. It can be really lonely when you're struggling and it looks like everyone else is flying through life. Of course, I appreciate all of the joy and practical advice you share as well. But the picture isn't complete without the hard times. Thanks so much for this blog and for you Power of Moms site.

Me, Myself and I said...

You don't know me, but I needed this. Thank you.

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