Maybe I'm secretly French?

I had no idea. My husband and I are actually parenting like French parents. And it's working like a charm - so far at least. Have you read any of the many articles floating around about a new book called Bringing Up Bébé by Pamela Druckerman, an American living in France? Pretty much everything she said about French parenting methods echoes what Jared and I believe and have implemented in our parenting.

Here are some of the questions that led Pamela to write her book:

"Why was it, for example, that in the hundreds of hours I'd clocked at French playgrounds, I'd never seen a child (except my own) throw a temper tantrum? Why didn't my French friends ever need to rush off the phone because their kids were demanding something? Why hadn't their living rooms been taken over by teepees and toy kitchens, the way ours had? Soon it became clear to me that quietly and en masse, French parents were achieving outcomes that created a whole different atmosphere for family life... I decided to figure out what French parents were doing differently. Why didn't French children throw food? And why weren't their parents shouting? Could I change my wiring and get the same results with my own offspring?"

Here are a few points that especially resonated with me from the articles I read (links to articles at end of this post):

Parents are supposed to be in charge. The French believe in "an iron fist in a velvet glove." Jared and I believe in being firm but kind and making boundaries very clear. We believe in making one meal and expecting our children to eat what is placed before them thankfully. We believe in explaining rules and consequences and gathering input from our kids on many things. We believe in giving our children lots of choices within certain parameters. But we're the parents, we're in charge of how things go down around here, and our kids totally get that. As stated in one article, "Kids are not king in France...Though they love their kids passionately like everyone else, the French generally don't subvert their identities to the lives of their children...Kids are essentially expected to adapt to the grown-up world and not the other way around."

Children need to learn to wait. Jumping to meet the requests (or more especially the impolite demands) of our children immediately does not help them learn patience - and it often leads parents to resent their children and dislike parenting (a 2009 Princeton study showed that compared with French moms American moms considered it more than TWICE as unpleasant to deal with their kids). The Wall Street Journal Article (link below) cites that study done ages ago where 4-5-year-old American children had a marshmellow placed in front of them and were told that if they could wait to eat it for 15 minutes, they'd get TWO marshmellows in the end. Few children could wait more than 30 seconds. The study followed the children over the years and found that the children who waited and received the two marshmellows were better at concentrating, reasoning and handling stress. My kids know they need to wait until I'm off the phone, to politely ask for me to get them something when I'm done with whatever I'm doing. They need to respect what others (including their parents) are doing and wait a little bit for what they want. The need to earn up money for toys and activities they'd like to do. They don't get what they want right away. And I think that's really good for them.

Get rid of guilt over things that are just fine. The article talks about how "French mothers certainly don't suffer the same guilt about everything." In a kid-centric society, guilt is a big, sad part of so many moms' lives. I used to put my kids in the child care at the gym for an hour three times a week so I could work out. They loved playing in there and I loved the uninterrupted time to work out. But when I mentioned that I was doing this to some friends at a play group, a couple of them seemed shocked. "Do they have good caregivers in there?" "I've heard there are a bunch of sick kids in there and it isn't that clean so the germs get passed around" I started to feel guilty and I looked more carefully at the interactions between caregivers and kids and the cleanliness of the child care the next time I took my kids. I found that the caregivers seems fine. Not stellar but fine. The place seemed clean. Not sparkling but clean. I decided I was a much better mom and person when I had my hour to work out and that my kids weren't suffering at all that I could see so I kept going. And it all worked out just fine. I think we can put our own needs first sometimes while ensuring things are fine for our kids and that's OK. Our kids don't need "perfect" or "stellar" all the time and it's good for them to see that their parents have needs as well. I love that my kids see me prioritizing exercise and reading and going out with friends - not at the expense of prioritizing time with them - but in addition to prioritizing time with them.

Here are a few overall tips from French parenting as stated in the Wall Street Journal article linked below:

• Children should say hello, goodbye, thank you and please. It helps them to learn that they aren't the only ones with feelings and needs.
• When they misbehave, give them the "big eyes"—a stern look of admonishment; speak to them kindly but sternly. Make sure they know you mean business by being consistently firm and following up with lots of love.
• Allow only one small snack a day. In France, it's at 4 or 4:30. (then they're actually hungry at meal times and eat what's put in front of them much better)
• Remind them (and yourself) who's the boss. French parents say, "It's me who decides."
• Don't be afraid to say "no." Kids have to learn how to cope with some frustration.

If you want to read the articles I've read about French parenting in full, here they are (thanks for the links Margaret!). There are great stories and example in these articles that illustrate the points above.
French Parents: Vive La Difference? (Huffington Post)
Why French Parents are Superior (Wall Street Journal)

Tomatillo Chicken Chili

OK, after that last post going on and on about healthy food not being so hard and receiving lots of requests for recipes, here's a favorite very easy and very healthy recipe. It's one of our family's very favorite meals and we have it at least every other week. It's especially nice in the winter. Just spend 5 minutes putting everything in the crockpot after getting the kids off to school in the morning and then, just before dinner time, take another 5 minutes to shred the chicken and add the corn.

Tomatillo Chicken Chili

Put everything below into your crock pot, mix together and cook on high for about 6 hours:

• 2-3 cups dry navy or small white beans (about one small bag if you buy them bagged - you don't have to pre-soak or pre-cook them - just put them in hard and uncooked and they'll be fine; use more beans if you like more beans, less if you like less; use a little Bean-o or something like that if you want to reduce the gas that can be involved. You can use called beans - two 14-oz cans if you want instead of dry beans. If you're using canned, pre-cooked beans, add them at the end with the corn or they'll get really mushy)
• 1 16 oz. jar of tomatillo salsa (I usually use La Victoria Thick and Chunky Salsa Verde since that's been easy for me to find - used to use Trader Joe's green salsa - most any kind works well - medium heat doesn't give much of a kick once it's with all the other ingredients; if you want to spend a bit more time you can use fresh tomatillos, onions and jalepeno peppers but it's a lot easier and about the same price to get the salsa)
• 4-5 cups water (depends on how much beans you use - need 2 cups water per 1 cup dry beans - skip the water if you're using canned, pre-cooked beans)
• 4 cups chicken broth or vegetable stock (can use canned or make it with "Better than Bouillon)
• 2 tsp ground cumin (or chili powder if you don't have any cumin on hand)
• 1/2 - 1 tsp garlic powder (based on how much you like garlic)
• 1 tsp salt
• 2-3 large frozen chicken breasts (I usually just use 2 breasts - I like a little less chicken and a little more beans)

After 6-8 hours, use two forks to shred the chicken. It should mostly fall apart. Then, shortly before serving, add:
2 cups of frozen corn (warm in microwave first so it doesn't make the soup cold). You can use canned corn but the frozen is a little tastier.

Serve with a little chopped cilantro and a dollop of lite sour cream or plain yogurt as a garnish.

Makes about 10 one-cup servings.

Enjoy!

Is it really so hard to eat healthy foods?

I heard a statistic the other day that really struck me - a third of the world's children suffer from hunger and/or diseases associated with malnutrition while another third of the world's children are on a trajectory of over-eating and wrong-food-eating that will likely lead them towards self-esteem issues, away from active sports, and then towards depression, joint problems, heart disease, diabetes and even early death. Crazy huh?

I'm really busy with other things, but as a small group of valiant moms are trying to take on the issue of adjusting what's on the menu at our kids' school, I've felt a pull towards helping them as much as I can - especially since they're getting some real resistance from the administration.

I'm appalled at what is offered in the lunch room. With all the information we all have about what is and isn't healthy for our bodies, why in the world are government-sponsored lunches for kids in schools so totally out-of-tune with what kids' bodies need?  The menu for this past two weeks: breaded chicken patty sandwiches on white buns with fries and some "salad" (iceberg lettuce smothered in ranch), hamburgers, pizza, sloppy joes, hot dogs, taco salads (I asked the kids what this is and they said it's tortilla chips with grizzly meat on top and you can add cheese, sour cream, lettuce, tomatoes but most kids skip the veggies so it's not really "salad" in my book). Precious little sign of any whole grains or lean protein and while veggies are offered, they are drenched in ranch and/or optional. They do offer fruit rather than dessert and that's a really nice thing our school does that other schools don't bother with. If the kids don't want the regular main course, they can get a pb&j sandwich - one of those little "uncrustable" ones stuffed with corn syrupy jam and sugary peanut butter on white bread.

Simple changes could really make a difference. Why can't we phase out the chocolate milk that's currently offered every day? I'm all for chocolate milk as an occasional treat but kids don't need it for breakfast and lunch every single day (in fact, if they drink chocolate rather than regular milk at school, they're adding 2 full GALLONS of sugar to their diet each year). Would it be so hard to switch white bread and pasta for whole wheat? Couldn't we gradually phase out some of the fatty meats in favor of beans and hummus and pasta with red sauce, easy, kid-friendly stuff like that?

Sure, parents can send healthy homemade lunches to school with their kids - and many do exactly that. But so many kids get and really need free school lunch. Shouldn't those kids who need free lunch, and who may be getting pretty poor diet at home, have a chance to be exposed to healthy foods at school?

Enough on schools. On to parents - with all the information available to parents, why are parents still so heavily buying these "kid foods" that really don't give their children the nutrients and energy they need? Yes, I know the pre-packaged, pre-prepared kid-focused foods like mac and cheese and chicken nuggets and pb&j seem like the easy and normal way to go and I know it's hard to buck the trends around us. But seriously, we can make better choices, can't we?

Here are the main reasons I hear about why schools and parents don't feed their families healthier foods:

1. "Kids won't eat healthy food." Kids complain up and down about what's offered right now in lunchrooms across the country and I see them toss most of what's on their trays in the garbage as they run out for recess. So if they complain about healthier lunches and keep throwing away part of their lunches, no big difference there. It seems like kids will complain about food at school, at home, anywhere - especially if they think their complaining will lead to getting the food they want.

My kids have always loved the healthy, colorful, tasty, well-prepared meals we've hyped up and given them at home (especially since they get to help prepare these meals and "ownership" makes a real difference). My kids and all their little friends who are in and out of our house all the time happily eat apples and grapes and oranges and carrots and snap peas for snacks. They love the 7-grain Kashi TLC crackers with a thin slice of sharp cheddar on top. They love air-popped popcorn with a touch of salt and butter (not the stuff in the bags - just get an air popper - cheaper and so much healthier plus lots of fun to see the popcorn come out!). They don't miss the fruit snacks (seriously, does anyone out there NOT know that fruit snacks are actually just candy?) or chips or soda that people think of as "kid snacks." They don't compare because there's not a chance to compare. This is what we have so this is what we eat. Ultimately, kids eat what's available.

I'm not saying we don't ever have treats around here. We do eat candy and store-bought prepared stuff sometimes. But the norm for us is healthy fresh foods and kids generally accept whatever the norm is once it's established.

2. "Healthy food is more expensive." Healthy food is NOT more expensive. I'd venture to guess that my grocery bill is less than pretty much every family out there with 7 people. We eat fresh fruits and veggies in their season. We eat lots of rice and beans and lentils (serious cheapness - and deliciousness). We eat brown bread and whole wheat pasta (which is pennies away from white bread and white pasta). We go easy on the meat which is generally expensive. We eat homemade cookies that are healthier and cheaper than store-bought ones. We work together to prepare our own food rather than buying pre-prepared food full of fat, sodium and ingredients with long crazy names you can't pronounce. We buy bulk foods and it's cheaper and easier on the environment that way. I make quick, easy, tasty meals using in expensive ingredients and good recipes that focus on spices that give flavor rather than the salt and fat that many meals depend on for flavor.

Yes healthy food CAN be more expensive. But it doesn't have to be. If you buy individual packs of pre-cut apples, yep, that'll add up faster than fruit snacks. But if you buy apples for 68 cents a pound and take 30 seconds to chop them up for your kids, I think you'll fill your kids up more cheaply than you would with a bag of chips. If you think you always have to serve ranch dressing or cheese sauce or a bunch of butter with all veggies, that'll add up. Let your kids pick out exciting fruits and veggies at the grocery store, or better yet, at a Farmer's Market. Eat some naked veggies in front of your kids saying "mmmm" and "yum" and point out how cool those little peas are inside the sugar snap pea pods. Teach them the joys of fresh green beans cooked just right and lightly salted. Be a great example of enjoying healthy food.

Fresh food, unpackaged, naked and in season is NOT expensive. And there are tons of home-cooked healthy meals that are much cheaper than eating off the dollar menu at a fast-food restaurant.

I am nowhere near perfect when it comes to eating healthy. I eat more sweets and cheese and pasta than I really should and I certainly overeat sometimes. We make cookies a lot. We love good ice cream. And we indulge in yummy Italian crusty white bread  as well as hamburgers and pizza when the mood strikes us. We aren't super strict about food. But we usually eat things that are as "close to the earth" as possible. We love brown bread. We eat our veggies. We love our fruit. And we don't buy hardly anything pre-prepared or packaged. I feel good about what we eat around here for the most part.

I know that some kids have real eating issues due to allergies, the way their bodies work, special tactile sensitivities or especially picky personalities. I know that moms and dads and kids can't control everything about their kids' food intake or how their little bodies react to food. I get that. But I also get that parents and schools have huge influence over what kids eat and I think that we should all try to do the hard thing and the right thing more seriously and more often and get more healthy foods in front of our kids so their bodies can be nourished properly. I know it's very hard work to get certain kids to eat anything remotely outside their comfort zone. But I've seen parents work hard and keep trying and find ways to help their kids eat healthily even when the going is really rough.

We teach our kids that what we eat is about our health - not about our looks. Healthy people come in many shapes and sizes. I focus on teaching my kids to cook, prepare, savor and enjoy good food. We read the labels on food packages and watch YouTube videos about where our food comes from. We enjoy soda on special occasions and milk once or twice a day but other than that, we just drink water from the tap and we save tons of money by spending almost nothing on drinks (let alone saving the environment by avoiding all that packaging involved in drinks). We make cookies or brownies from scratch pretty much every week and we love good treats. We politely eat what we're offered at other people's houses and accept that everyone has slightly different needs and different taste buds and traditions that will lead them to make different choices and that's OK. But overall, we teach our kids that it's important to feed our bodies as healthfully as we can so we can maximize our energy and live long, healthy lives.

I've got a big post half-written about how I became so interested in healthy eating and other stuff on this topic. I'll finish that and post somewhat soon. Plus I'll keep posting some of my favorite healthy recipes. But what got me thinking about all this especially was this post that was forwarded to me today and all the comments at the end of it:
http://www.hlntv.com/article/2012/01/31/mommy-bloggers-ashamed-twitter-party-raises-awareness-about-anti-obesity-ads?hpt=hp_c2

What do you think???

What works for you when it comes to healthy eating in your family?

Beautiful Weekend in LA - Serious Happiness

I'm totally on a high after spending a glorious weekend of beautiful weather, lots of great discussions and lots of laughter in LA with 65 really wonderful mothers. My well is full. My often-neglected social needs are met. My idea bank is overflowing. My belief in the importance and beauty and wonder of motherhood is at an all-time high. And my love for my own sweet children and husband is deeper than ever. I came home completely exhausted but after a good night's sleep last night and a chunk of time catching up on emails this morning, life is looking good. Very, very good.

This was Power of Moms Retreat #11 and it was especially fun for me. I've now got more confidence and a lot less worries and jitters than I did with those first Retreats. I can go in there and present without tons of preparation and I know pretty well what works and what people might ask and how to handle things. Plus I love presenting alongside April - after doing this so much, we know how to go back and forth and cover everything pretty darn well between us. We had other great presenters there as well who did a fabulous job and as always, some of the best ideas and points and stories came from the wonderful moms who came to the event. The moms who come to these Retreats are a self-selected group of truly amazing people. The sad part of each Retreat is that there isn't enough time to hear the stories and ideas of every single mom there. We had moms who've been through cancer and bankruptcy and hard, hard stuff with their children and rocky marriages and infertility. We had several moms of twins that I wanted to talk with a lot more. We had everything from new moms to a mom of 11 children. What a plethora of mothering knowledge and questions we had there in that room of 65 wonderful moms! (This photo only shows about 1/2 of the moms who were there - we were so busy chatting and presenting that we didn't think to take a photo until half an hour after the Retreat ended and lots of the moms were already headed home at that point. Oh well!!!)


The setting was as perfect as can be - gorgeous weather and the loveliest home perched on a ridge overlooking Los Angeles (our discussion groups and lunch were extra nice outside). We're so very grateful to our hostess, Lisa Palmer, for opening her home to us and dealing with all our little requests for everything from platters to safety pins to refills of toilet paper. (Lisa's sister Julia went on study abroad with me to London about 20 years ago and when she heard we were looking for a place in LA for our Retreat, she suggested her sister's place and it all worked out beautifully. And I found out that the Palmers lived in Boston for many years and that they'd known Jared and my sister Saydi through church there - small world!) 

We're so grateful for Sarah, Susan and Amy - three wonderful women who are sisters-in-law (they married three brothers) and who've attended or helped with a few Retreats now. They took care of registration details and copies and chairs and food and helped make things so wonderful for everyone - especially for me and April who've handled far too many details on our own at some Retreats. Sarah picked up the chairs and got everyone registered with her cute baby on her hip. Susan made beautiful desserts complete with the cutest individually-made fondant daisies (like the Power of Moms logo) and a "shot glass" of milk to go with it all. Amy made chicken cacciatore for dinner that was so delicious I'm still thinking about it. And so many other wonderful moms pitched in to help with set-up and clean-up and everything in between. Plus we're super grateful to Panera - they donated delicious sandwiches and cookies for our lunch. I love that place! Wish they had it in Utah.





It doesn't matter how many times I do a Retreat, I always learn a ton. Here were some little specific resolutions from this Retreat:

•  Prioritize social time more. I had the chance to fly out and back to the Retreat with one of our Power of Moms writers and presenters, Allyson Reynolds. We talked and laughed the whole way there and back and learned so much from each other. I had great conversations with lots of moms at the Retreat during structured discussion sessions and during breaks and before and after sessions. Everyone has such interesting stories and great ideas. I need to make time for more conversations like this and stop letting everything else get in the way. I just emailed Allyson to schedule a time to get our families together rather than doing what I typically do - keep saying "we really should get together sometime" and then getting around to really scheduling something all to seldom.
• Start doing awards again. I'll write a post about this soon but as I presented about our Sunday dinner awards ceremonies with our kids, I realized we've been forgetting to do this for way too long and the kids really need and want it.
• Speak my husband and kids' love languages more. Susan gave a great presentation on Love Languages - not a new concept to me but one I don't think about enough. I've got to give Oliver and Silas more hugs and tell them I love them more (their love language is verbal and physical - they're ALWAYS hugging me and hanging on me and saying how much they love me and I don't do those same things for them nearly as often as I should). I've got to write Eliza more notes (her notes are so sweet and when I actually remember to write her a note, she's over the moon. In fact I'll write one and put it on her bed right now before I even finish this). I've got to hang out and really listen to Ashton when I tuck him in bed at night (he's not a big talker but he has lots of things he wants to tell me about the latest electronic gadget or something that happened at school when I tuck him in - but I'm usually in too big a hurry. He really needs individual time right now in his life and I think some of the problems he's been having are because he needs more attention). I've got to give Isaac more hugs and tell him what I specifically appreciate about him more (he was such a hugger as a little kid and I think he still needs and wants that and he just blooms when he's praised). I've got to do more acts of service for Jared (he's so good about serving me and I know he loves it when I make time to do something special for him).
• Be more purposeful about what I eat. Someone mentioned keeping a food diary and how that holds you more accountable to yourself. I've been eating whatever, whenever since Christmas and that extra weight from the holidays is going to be mine to keep forever if I don't start paying attention. Beth Aldridge talked about her new book, Real Moms Love to Eat and that really got me thinking about some things...
• Be more consistent about playing the Bloom Game. When I set those little goals every week and keep that rolling, I feel so much better about my life and prioritize important things way better.
• Get outside every day. While we sure don't have the amazing green and flowers and sunshine I experienced in LA here, I can still get out and go on a walk around the block and find something beautiful in nature almost every day. I can get out there and feel the sun on my face for a few minutes when it's cold. I can get the benefit of fresh air a lot more often if I make it a priority - and I sure need that. And I've decided we need to schedule a Southern CA or St George trip at least every couple months during the long cold winters here. If I prioritize it, it will happen. 

Here are some of the beautiful things I saw in the snippets of time I had between everything else going on. I love love love the trees - their different shades of green, their different shapes and sizes, the dappled sun that comes through their branches and leaves. I loved seeing the blossoms (it's already spring there!) mixed with the left-over fruits of fall. It was all so beautiful there!

Happiness IV - quick thought

I just saw this pop up on Facebook. It spoke to me.


I need to live in the present. Living in the past can only offer happiness as a memory. Living in the future can only offer happiness as a hope or an expectation (and expectations can be dangerous). Living in the present and looking for the good stuff right here, right now, is a pretty good recipe for present happiness.

Happiness III: What do you focus on?

OK. Here goes part III of my thinking about happiness posts.

So I'm happier this week. I'm still stressed and worried about a lot of things. But I'm learning to accept that since I'm a worrier and since my life seems destined to be full of excitement and projects and opportunities (quite a bit of which I DO thrive on), I need to learn to find happiness amidst the stress and hard times rather than entertaining the thought that happiness is something that comes AFTER the stress and hard times are over.

What do you see in this photo?

I walked past this scene the other day and it brought me joy. The flowers looked so lovely in the sun and I love my old windows. I love fresh flowers but I rarely feel I've got money to spare to buy something that seems a bit "frivolous." These flowers were given to me for a speech I did last week and they've lasted amazingly long and brought me lots of joy.

My camera was sitting right there so I snapped a photo.

Then I realized there were a lot of not-so-pretty things in the picture. Did you notice the messy papers and piles? What about the chips and scratches on the table? Did you notice how dirty the window are in the background? What about those snowflakes the kids made that have been up there for a couple months and should probably come down? Did you notice how close our neighbor's house is right through those windows? (Luckily we love our neighbors but I do wish they'd thought to put just a few more feet between these houses...)

And that got me thinking. I'm happy when I notice and celebrate and focus on the beauty and goodness that is always to be found in life. I'm happy when I choose not to dwell on the imperfections and hard stuff.

As I think back on this past week, I choose to focus on the coziness and tastiness and fun of making cookies with the kids while beautiful snow finally fell all afternoon on Saturday - rather than focusing on the big spilled oatmeal mess and the way the boys whined about shoveling the driveway. I choose to focus on the excitement and accomplishment the kids and I felt at how good their rooms looked after a thorough cleaning and rearranging rather than the frustrating moments when the kids got off-task. I choose to focus on how cute Ashton was saying goodbye to the little kids he babysits when I went to pick him up rather than the fact that he forgot an important homework assignment right after we had a another big talk about school and grades. I choose to focus on how nice it was to watch a movie snuggled between the twins with Isaac reaching over to play with my hair and Ashton offering great commentary rather than focusing on Eliza's grumpiness about our movie choice and insistence on sitting in an uncomfortable way on the floor to try to make us all sorry for picking a movie she didn't like when she couldn't even think of anything she didn't like about it. I choose to focus on how Jared fixed a leak in the basement and did umpteen other really helpful and kind things for me and for the kids rather than focusing on a couple things he did or didn't do this week that made me feel a little bit invisible.

Happiness is all in where I place my focus.

This isn't exactly a brand new idea. And it's not so easy to focus on the positive when the negative is bearing down upon you or your mind just isn't feeling all that open to happy thoughts. But still, I can work on this more.

My Favorite Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookie Recipe

I grew up in a cookie family. Some families are pie families. Some families are ice cream families. Some families are into cake. The Eyres were firmly into cookies. As teenagers, my sister Shawni or I made cookies all the time after school. Our friends and younger siblings and all their friends had handfuls of cookie dough (a lot of times, the cookies never made it to the oven and we'd never really heard of salmonella but no one ever got sick) and fresh hot cookies for their after school snacks in our crowded kitchen - always the gathering place. 

Now, whenever my extended family gets together, someone is whipping up a batch of cookies at least once a day. Our kids have been trained in cookie-making from young ages and they do a lot of the cookie baking these days. Most of us have developed our own special versions of the oatmeal chocolate chip recipes we made and experimented with when we were growing up.  Shawni brought a great oatmeal-heavy recipe from her mother-in-law to our family. Jonah perfected a fabulous recipe including ground flax seed instead of some of the butter. Saydi created a recipe that includes coconut and rice crispies for an added twist. Oatmeal is a staple in pretty much all our recipes as are semi-sweet chocolate chips but more recently Levain copy-cat recipes entered the scene and those non-oatmeal chocolate chip cookies have become a favorite as well (this is my favorite recipe for Levain copy-cats). Everyone has their strong opinions about what's the best recipe but luckily, since we make cookies repeatedly when we're all together, everyone gets a chance to make their favorite recipe.

Here are a few photos I found quickly and easily of cookie-baking experiences over the years:

my sister Saydi making cookies with Ashton and Isaac the night before the twins were born

Ashton doling out the cookies to siblings and cousins

Liza and Silas work as a team to make cookies
(this is how many should fit on a cookie sheet for the recipe below - and the cookie scoop is a great thing!)

Anyway, over the years I've fine-tuned what is now MY favorite oatmeal chocolate chip cookie. And here it is - for posterity - and for those who might want to try it out!

Here's how the cookies from this recipe are supposed to look
(the twins wanted them for their birthday "cake" a couple years ago)

Best Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies

Loosli Family Favorite

This is the recipe we've come up with after lots of trial and error over the years. It's super yummy and we love doing different variations – sometimes with chocolate chips and dried cherries or craisins and coconut, other times with chocolate chips and raisins, sometimes with chocolate chips and walnuts. As this recipe uses ½ the butter and less sugar than most recipes and has lots of oatmeal and some flax seed, it's quite healthy as far as cookies go.

This recipe makes the equivalent of a double batch of most recipes - about 40 cookies. If you want a smaller batch, cut it in half. Or make the whole batch, cook half and make the rest into dough balls to freeze and cook later.

Cream together:

2 cubes butter (1 cup) - softened

½ cup ground flax seed

1 ½ c. brown sugar (loosely packed)

1 c. white sugar

3 large eggs 

2 tsp vanilla

Then add:

1 ½ c white flour

¾ c. whole wheat flour (or more white flour for a total of 2 1/4 cups)

1 tsp baking soda

1 tsp baking powder

1 tsp salt

MIX IN with the rest, adding one cup of flour at a time and mixing until smooth

then add, one cup at a time:

3 ½ cups quick oatmeal

1 c. chocolate chips (or 1 1/2 cups if you like them more chocolaty)

Optional: (you can cut down a bit on the chocolate chips if you want to add all this stuff)

1 c. raisins, craisins or dried cherries

1 c. flaked sweetened coconut

1 c. rice crispies

1/2 - 1 c. chopped walnuts

Preheat convection oven to 350 degrees. Drop by spoonful (or cookie scoop) onto a cookie sheet. Should fit on two cookie sheets if you do 5 rows of 4 (plus there will be a little dough to eat!). Cook for 8-9 minutes. Take out when slightly brown on edges but still a bit doughy looking in the middle. Once cooled, put in the freezer if you'd like to have them remain super fresh for use in the future. Or eat the day you bake them!

The Best Serendipity of my Life

Today is Oliver and Silas's birthday. Oh how I love my little guys! What would I ever do without them?

Seven years and seven months ago, I had a total deer-in-the-headlights feeling when a midwife wielding an ultrasound wand told me she saw 2 heartbeats - I was already completely overwhelmed with three tiny kids and felt like I was "stepping out into the darkness and reaching out for the hand of the Lord" in accepting the strong prompting that we needed to go for a fourth child. It was one of those surreal moments that will forever be crystalized in my mind when the midwife turned the screen towards me and pointed out those two blinking kidney beans. And when I managed to somehow drive my shocked self home to where Jared was watching the kids so I could go to the doctor, he just about passed out when I showed him the ultrasound pictures.

And then, after getting so excited about the two little boys who'd be joining our family and trusting that it would all work out somehow, I'll never forget the afternoon when I was about 5 months pregnant and was having lunch with friends and quite suddenly, there was blood - quite a lot of it. I rushed into the doctor, leaving the kids with the friends I'd been with at lunch. I sat there for what seemed like forever until they could get someone to do an ultrasound. Oh what joy when two little hearts were still beating in there! What a beautiful crystal moment! But the placenta was inexplicably tearing away from the uterine wall and I had to go on modified bedrest - not that easy with my three tiny kids and no family nearby and a husband who needed to be on the other side of the world for work quite a bit. But friends and members of my congregation pitched in and we taught baby Eliza how to climb into her high chair and crib and carseat by herself since I couldn't lift her and we were as careful and prayerful as can be. Those little hearts kept beating strong at each doctor visit until the placenta finally healed itself.

And then there was that crazy night exactly 7 years ago when our two babies were born. After going through a quick but intense natural labor, I rejoiced as I held precious Oliver in my arms, and felt wonderful adrenaline and joy as I got ready to push his brother out. But Silas was stuck. It was pretty sad news to hear that there'd be no more triumphant pushing but instead, a scary emergency C-section. That night is full of more poignant and blazing memories - the most beautiful of which involved finally holding my two babies in my arms, drugged and groggy and in intense pain, but so very very grateful to have both babies delivered safe and sound.

I've had plenty of other crazy, sweet, hard and crystalized moments since the birth of my little guys. Oh, the messes and scary moments and general chaos that they've brought into our lives! There were the many many many sleepless nights with two newborns. Then there was the time a stranger showed up at our door holding a dirty little Silas. "Is this yours? I found this baby crawling in the street." Great moment there. Jared had inadvertently left the door slightly ajar when he got back from work and Silas must have somehow slipped out the door while I was focused on feeding Oliver and the other kids were gleefully greeting Jared after work. All it took was about 3 minutes.

There was the day they smeared vaseline all over the new carpet and new Pottery Barn bedding I'd saved up so carefully to buy while I was cleaning up a potted plant they'd upturned in another room (and nope, vaseline doesn't come out - I tried everything). And there was the time they figured out how to open a 25 pound bag of pinto beans in the pantry - wow, those beans sure roll everywhere!

Then there was the time they both split their chins open in the very same spot just a few days apart from each other - one tripped and fell onto a sharpish edge on our eliptical machine and the other one slipped while doing a spontaneous dance in a restaurant when he hit a wet spot on the floor - identical scars.

And there was the time last summer at Bear Lake when the twins and one of their little cousins were playing on the old tractor we use to launch the boat and ended up accidentally starting that thing while the rest of us were busily and noisily making dinner and didn't notice. After a joyride/scared-to-death ride involving somehow making three loops around an empty lot without hitting anything or getting killed, they steered the tractor up a sandy hill and luckily that caused the engine to stall and stop. Not knowing exactly how to explain what happened, they headed into the cabin to eat dinner and the story didn't come out until their cousin let it slip and we found the tracks and the tell-tale tractor stuck in the sand. Lots of big talks on that one.

Never a dull moment when Oliver and Silas are around! And I could go on and on but you get the idea. If one smart, busy, curious little boy can get into a lot of things, just imagine how much more craziness can happen when two identical smart, busy and curious little boys put their heads together!

But the sweetness and laughs and beauty they've brought into our lives is vastly more important. They are the most loving, funny, sweet, smart, fun, enthusiastic little boys and I love them so very very much. They shower kisses and hugs and "I love you's" on me every single day (especially on the hard days - they seem to be so in tune with what I need) and never cease to make me smile. They're the best serendipity of my life.

Seven years ago, these were my little guys.

5 years ago, these were my little guys. (We laughed our heads off watching these next few clips as part of our birthday celebration today)


4 years ago, these were my little guys.


2 years ago, these were my little guys. (The big kids think this one should be featured on America's funniest home videos - but it might just be extra funny to us - see what you think. They've attributed some pretty interesting stuff to Micheal Jackson.)


And here they are a couple months ago.



Yes, I'm biased, but aren't they pretty darn cute?

I'm blessed beyond measure to have these sweet boys and I'm so grateful for all the crystal moments they're always bringing to my life - both the crazy times and the beautiful times - and the times that have been crazy and beautiful simultaneously.

Here are a few photos of today's festivities for their birthday. Ashton did a fabulous magic show for 10 mesmerized little kids, we did pinatas in the backyard on a perfect sunny afternoon, we did a family trip to Kangaroo Zoo (the twins have been begging to go there forever and it did not disappoint) and we topped it all off with a pizza party with my parents. What a day we had!

Opening presents after their chosen birthday breakfast - egg burritos 

Good times at our family party at Kangaroo Zoo

coming down the slide in a train

The friend birthday party started with a great magic show by Ashton

ready for cake and ice cream (they asked for banana cake and I found a super
good recipe for banana chocolate chip cake with cream cheese frosting - yum!)

pinatas in the back yard on a perfect sunny afternoon
(thanks dad and mom for the random pinatas found while cleaning out your house - they were perfect!

Waiting in line to hit the pinatas

grabbing the loot - we stuffed them with popcorn packets, hot cocoa packets, granola bars, fruit snack packs -
fills them up faster and makes for slightly more surprising and healthy loot

pizza party to end the day with Grammie and Grandfather

Happiness - Part II

OK, so I've been working on happiness. And it's working.

In the last few days, I've prioritized some of the items on my happiness-inducing list in the last post and in the next few days, I'll prioritize more of them.

I went running outside in the cold on Wednesday and this morning. I was NOT looking forward to the cold or the running as I headed out the door both times, but I felt ALIVE as I ran in that cold and I felt so proud of myself when I got back home. I needed that fresh air and I needed the energy of mind, body and spirit I get from vigorous exercise (#3 and #6 from my happiness list). Plus the mountains are so pretty. And that hot shower feels so good afterwards.

I went to lunch yesterday with a couple friends and heard their latest stories and it was so nice to just talk and be out and about. I need to do that more. (#8 on the list)

I've found chunks of time to read lately and I'm almost done with Minding Frankie. There's this social worker in the book who doesn't hardly know how to smile. I don't want to be like her. We had another little read-a-thon snuggled up on my bed last night. It was so nice. That takes care of #2 and #4.

I finally put new caulk in the kids' shower. Jared drilled out the old messed up caulk about 2 months ago and it was my job to put in new caulk (I'm just a teeny bit better at neat caulking than Jared - let's just say the shelves he caulked, bless his heart, looked pretty goopey).  I've had that caulking job on my to-do list for 2 whole months and no one's been able to use that shower this whole time. I finally blocked out yesterday morning to do it. Oh how good it feels to finally accomplish something I've been putting off forever! And I listened to great music while caulking - love Pandora - love my Plain White T's station. So that took care of #7 and #9 quite nicely.

And I've got a new thing to add to my list. Here's #11:
11. Do something spontaneous that's NOT on my list and that I don't really have to do but that's just fun. Yesterday when I went to lunch, my friend pointed out a flower shop along the way that said "If your name is Oliver, come in for a free rose." I guess they put up different names there all the time. So after school, even though I had plenty of other things to do, I surprised Oliver - took him for a little drive, pointed out that sign and he was overjoyed to go in there and choose any rose he wanted. He got a gorgeous orange one and they wrapped it up beautifully for him and he was pleased as punch. I need to grab the moment and do fun little things like this way more often.

As I've been focusing more on doing the things that make me happy, I'm also realizing that it's important to simply RECOGNIZE that I'm doing things that make me happy. Then I'm happier.

What is Happiness?

My sister-in-law gave me a book called The Happiness Project for Christmas and although I've only read a couple chapters so far, it's really got me thinking.

Am I happy?

I haven't had a chance to think a whole lot about whether or not I was happy in the past dozen years or so. I remember contemplating happiness back when I was single and had plenty of quiet moments. But since having kids, I've been so busy doing everything that comes along with dealing with the needs of small children while trying to juggle a couple websites and involvement in my kids' school and in the community that I never got around to thinking about happiness much. There were times when life was really hard and I did some thinking about how to pull myself out of a slump. But mostly, when I've had time to think in the past dozen years, I've thought about goals and to-do lists and plans for helping the kids and myself and everyone around me become all that they can and should be. And I do think happiness is quite interconnected with progress and growth and helping others - all of which I've experienced in great abundance especially since launching into my motherhood career.

But now that all the kids are in school and I have a few more quiet moments to myself each day as I chip away at my endless to-do lists, I'm feeling the need to figure some things out. Am I happy? Am I as happy as I ought to be? Should happiness be a pursuit or a goal? Or is it silly and selfish to devote much time to thinking about my own happiness?

I experience lovely fleeting moments of happiness every day. Joy jumps up in my heart when I see fresh snow or a brilliant blue sky, hear a sweet comment from one of my kids, feel little arms around my waist, see my child be kind or accomplish something he or she is proud of, watch my kids run up to me with huge smiles when I pick them up from school, snuggle with my little ones as we read together. I feel a satisfaction kind of happiness whenever I accomplish something or complete a task. So I'm experiencing happy moments a lot and I'm so grateful for each of them.

But do I feel happy in general? Not so much.

I feel worried and stressed and overwhelmed much more often than I feel happy. And I think this is partially because I think about what I need to DO much more than I think about who I need to BE or what I NEED. I think about accomplishments far more than optimism and gratitude. I think about good works far more than faith, hope and charity. And while I do believe happiness relies quite a bit on progression and helping others, I don't think I've thought enough about the other things happiness relies upon.

So this week I'm going to focus on figuring out what makes me happy - other than getting things done (I've got that one down pretty well). Then I'm going to figure out how to bring more of this happiness-inducing stuff into my life more regularly. I've realized that in order to be the mom and wife and person I need to be, I've got to figure out how to be a happier person. And it's not just going to happen by itself.

Here's my first step - making a quick list of what I love to do off the top of my head:
1. Cook tasty food that's quite simple but has great spices and flavors and that my whole family loves (I made thai food on Sunday and it was a pleasure to cook and a pleasure to eat)
2. Read beautifully-written novels with great characters and a story that sucks you in and makes you think (really enjoying Minding Frankie by Mave Binchy right now).
3. Exercise (actually I really don't like exercising much but I love the feeling I get AFTER exercising)
4. Read with my kids (we all snuggled on my bed Sunday night and read out own books together and it was so cozy and made me so happy).
5. Travel. Visiting a new place - be it a new part of town or a new country - always gives me a rush. I love meeting new people, seeing new sites, figuring out new favorites, and seeing my kids get excited about it all.
6. Go on a hike or walk. Moving my body while enjoying fresh air and nature always offers elevates my mood and gives me sparks of joy and renews me. I need to be outside every day - at least for a few minutes. But I don't make time for that every day.
7. Hear great music. I need to have music playing more regularly. I need to crank up the music and dance more. I miss singing. I miss playing the violin. I need to make as well as enjoy listening to music more.
8. Have a good conversation. I'm not getting nearly enough of this. I'm alone too much. I email all day with people but I'm not with other adults enough.
9. Finish something. I'm getting quite a bit of this one - at the expense of the others.
10. Laugh. I don't laugh nearly enough. I'm way too serious. Anyone got any really funny YouTube videos or TV shows are articles you'd recommend?

So there's my quick list to get me started. I'll work on what to DO about these needs soon.

And I'd love any tips or ideas anyone else out there has!